A Behanding in Spokane by Martin McDonagh

Last Friday night I went to see Martin McDonagh's (The Cripple of Inishmaan) new play A Behanding in Spokane.

Christopher Walken stars as a man on a mission to find his hand that was cruelly taken from him in a "behanding" of sorts in, you guessed it, Spokane. He explains to his costars Sam Rockwell, Zoe Kazan, and Anthonie Mackie that there's nothing quite so painful as having someone wave goodbye to you with your own hand.

It was brilliantly dark and hilarious.

I have only ever written one fan letter in my life, and that was to Mr. McDonagh after watching his brilliant Cripple of Inishmaan in London 13 years ago. The premise of this story is completely deranged, but the premise isn't the point. The cutting word play, the psychological battle of wits, the pitting of one crazy against another--it's as though he decided to create a world where 4 idiotic characters were forced to hash it out in the same universe for a bit. And they do to the delight and entertainment of viewers.

There's a scene where con-artists Marilyn (Kazan) and Toby (Mackie) are chained to a radiator and pipe in the hotel room and left to die in an explosion by Walken's character. He leaves a candle burning on top of a gas can. When the candle burns out, they go boom. They search the room to find anything to try and knock the candle off of the gas can. They manage to open a suitcase and what do they find inside, hundreds of hands. Insanity!

Sam Rockwell plays a hotel receptionist. He is indescribably dumb and crazy, (sort of like everyone else in the play) with an affinity for monkeys. Walken asks him, "Have you ever lost someone you loved?" And Rockwell responds, "I remember seeing her lying there in the back of her cage." I just about died laughing at that point. Then Walken follows up after a perfectly timed pause. "In the back of a what?"

Apparently the man running the hotel is too crazy for the man who carries around a suitcase full of hands.

It's a hilarious and harsh view of life. Kazan is absolutely charming and adds a different hue of crazy to the cast. And Mackie has the difficult job of being the only one in the room who really sees things for how crazy they actually are. He spends most of his time swearing and freaking out. His sane foil isn't as much fun to watch, but it serves as a necessary contrast to the insanity oozing from everyone else.

If you get a chance to see the unmatched Christopher Walken and the brilliant Sam Rockwell, go!

It's playing at the Schoenfeld Theatre.

New York City

For as long as I can remember, New York City has lingered in the back of my mind as a place I really didn't want to love. It's so expensive. And it's dirty. And everyone thinks that if you do theatre there, for some reason that show is infinitely better than the theatre done in Utah or Iowa.

Well, that's ridiculous. It's just another town. Granted--a very large town--but it's just another town filled with people who breathe and eat and pay their bills, like any other town. The theatre they produce is fantastic because great people go there to do great theatre. But great people live in Utah and produce great theatre too. In fact, I find in community theatre that people bring an element of love into their work that translates on the stage. I have no delusions that just because it's in NYC, it's somehow a better show.

Having said that . . .

I've decided to give up my amazing job and move to NYC this fall to do a show.

It's a musical about a hippo named Mimi who falls in love with a mouse named Gustav. I have no idea how I'm going to make this happen, but it's the lead in a new musical at a great off broadway playhouse with a fantastic director and producer.

I went up to NYC for the second meeting yesterday. It was amazing. i am so nervous around everyone. They want me there for preproduction meetings. Not sure why. But it's been wonderful.

After the rehearsal, I went to see a show and have dinner with a friend who was in town from Utah. Then I just walked around the city for a bit. I breathed in the air, felt the energy of the people, stared up at the lights and marveled that at 11 o'clock, the city was still very much alive.

I began to fall in love a little bit.

I could tolerate this town from September to about March.

And then I'm moving to Utah. But that's a whole 'nother post.

Great Talk

I love this talk. I don't know how I missed it during the past General Conference, but if you want to be inspired, play this talk.

Julie B. Beck. "The Lord will pour out his spirit upon the hand maidens in these latter days."

Seeing Myself

In the first Harry Potter book, he comes across the Mirror of Erised. In this mirror, one can see their heart's desire. Dumbledore warns Harry of the dangers of seeing your true heart's desire. And perhaps we could judge that a person's true nature is determined by their desires.

In Doctrine and Covenants 76:94 we read about celestial souls: "They who dwell in his presence are the church of the Firstborn; and they see as they are seen, and know as they are known, having received of his fulness and of his grace."

The path to God is like discovering your own Mirror of Erised. We begin to take a hard look at what we truly desire. We discover the inconsistencies between who we are, and how we want to be seen. Or rather, we see ourselves in the way that God sees us. This can be good and bad.

The idea of spending an eternity staring harshly into the reality of who I am at my core . . . admittedly, this is scary. And so I know where my journey has to begin. I have to imagine an eternity of seeing myself for exactly who I am. If I look hard into my own mirror of Erised, am I comfortable with what I see?

Not entirely. As most adults, I've managed to juggle my strengths and my flaws pretty well.

So I'm going to take a hard look in my mirror and see what I can change so that I can be comfortable seeing myself as I am seen.

It's gonna be a good journey. I'm kind of excited for it. And I'm incredibly grateful that I have a little bit of time to get myself together.