Doing Difficult Things for Yourself

I'm going through an interesting in phase in life.

I have become the sole manager of my time.

When I was a little kid, I stayed up late, if I could--but my mom wouldn't let me.

I love to sleep in, but I couldn't--because I always worked jobs that started at 8am.

I was never the source of my own self-control. I had obligations to other people that I needed to fulfill.

Now, I'm in this odd place in life where I 'm the one who decided what my obligations will be. I can stay up as late as I like because if I want to, I can stay in bed until 4pm. I don't teach class until 6pm.

There's a lot to be done though, and it is difficult to discipline yourself without outside constructs. Somedays I'm better at it than others.

Last night, I still stayed up until 2am watching House. I worked from 10am-11pm without much of a break. So, I am certainly justified in sleeping in today.

But, I am trying to give myself the same respect that I give to others. I will respect other's time constraints--but I won't take care of myself.

So today, I woke up at 8:30am. I am doing laundry. I am going to the temple. And I'm going to prepare my lecture for tonight. It takes A LOT of self-control to go to the temple when you could just as easily curl back into the sheets and enjoy some much needed rest.

I don't know what any of this means--but it's an odd paradigm shift for me. I think it will take some time to truly embrace self-control for my own sake. But, today's a start.