My Prowess with Men

Leonard

Harry

Fred

I just realized that I've been holding back on my promise to share "my amazing prowess with men". So here's some details about my love life.

Fred and I met last week at Trader Joe's. He was buying lemon curd and crackers and I thought--what a nice guy! So I did what any nice girl would do and I saddled up to him and said, "Would you like to take your lemon curd and my mango salsa and have a little party tonight?" (I added a little wink for good measure.) Well, he winked right back and we skipped out of Trader Joe's and onto a night of fun and food! After flying to Paris to make-out in the Eiffel Tower, I came home and checked my facebook and then went to bed. Nice guy. I wish him all the best!

Harry is a professor at the school I teach at. He teaches underwater origami. He's brilliant. I don't know how he makes such beautiful swans while swimming underwater--but he does! Well, one day we were leaving our classes at the same time and he said, "Do you have a car?" and I said, "Yes! Yes I do!" And he said, "So do I!" And I thought--We have so much in common! Let's see where this goes! Of course I didn't say that outloud, instead I just gave him a sort of knowing look and then flipped my hair a little. (I'm THAT good.) He's a bright man. He caught my drift and drove his car over to my car and said, "Nice wheels." Well, I like a guy who can appreciate my Hyundai Elantra--so I parked my car and the next thing I know--I was driving off with him to watch a hockey game! We played a game where everytime we saw blood splatter we had to kiss. It was a violent game. (wink wink, nudge nudge!)

Leonard and I met while I was in Zimbabwe helping the orphan children to get vaccinations. I was trying to figure out a way to cure the rampant tuberculosis, when Leonard came riding up on a tripped out jeep. As the children surrounded me singing, "We love Evey! We love Evey!" He said, "What do you think you're doing?!" And I said, "I'm bringing health and happiness to the children of Zimbabwe!" And he said, "Oh, that's hot!" And than he helped me vaccinate the children. After curing the children, we moved onto the adults. Then we had a big party and we might have made out--but just a little bit. I was tired from all that work. And besides, we're going out again next week.

Well, it's only Tuesday so that's all I have to share today.

I promise to share more about my prowess with men. Sorry I've been so private about it.