Better at the Blahs

Today was a blah day. I needed it to be a blah day. I've been sliding towards this forever, and today I let myself live in the blah. I have been forcing myself to function beyond my capacity--and it's just made me irritable. I have been doing my duty to God and country like a good little scout, but slowly, oh so slowly, I've become suckier and suckier (yes I chose to use the word suckier) at getting through my obligations. I end classes a little early, arrive 3 minutes late, return assignments later than I should, or not at all. I forget to return emails, and I've put off paying bills.

But, as the blahs have crept up on me--I have maintained my focus on losing weight. And for that, I am incredibly proud of myself.

I slept in until 11am this morning, watched 6 episodes of Angel, played countless tetris games, and chilled in sweats until 5:30pm.

BUT . . . I also paid all my bills, including buying a plane ticket home for Christmas. And as for overeating--I ate a 1/3 cup of chocolate chips. And that's it!! I am infamous for binging--and I didn't! I could have. I would have let myself. But, I didn't.

I need another good night of sleep and some chill out time, and I'll be good as new by the weekend.

These "blah" days can freak me out a little. I feel a little out of control, but you know--it's life. They come, and they go. But, I'll tell you what bugs me--it doesn't matter how self-aware you are--you can't think your way out of it. You can tell yourself exactly what is happening in your mind and body, and scientifically understand the source of your feelings--but the feelings are still there. And no amount of self-reflection can substitute getting extra sleep and enjoying a little downtime.