Being Inconvenient

I feel a little freer today than I did yesterday.

I'm beginning to understand the freedom and the power that comes in being inconvenient.

Last night a guy wanted to go out with me. It's sad how my brain works, (or heart rather), but all I could think of was--"Really! That's swell!" I should have been thinking--"No Eve! He's totally horrible! No Eve--remember how he treated you last time! Remember how you haven't heard from him in a week!"

A part of my brain was working and I didn't respond to his invite. As I prepared to go and see the Young Women sing in a youth fireside--I told my roommate that I was not going to put on make-up or brush my hair so that I wouldn't go and see this guy after the fireside. Ugliness is a great preserver of virtue.

But during the fireside--he sent about 10 text messages. His neediness was incredibly tempting.

So I wrote back.

(Drat!)

I said that I would meet him under certain conditions. I expressed them clearly. He said he was coming over.

I came home. I put make-up on, etc. But I didn't leave the house.

He kept texting me, trying to get me to renig on my conditions.

And I didn't.

He never came over.

I got my way! I laid down the law and I won! I did not change my conditions so that it would be more convenient for him. I was utterly inconvenient and completely unavailable except on terms that I set down.

I feel empowered and lighter today.

So today my brother wants me to fly out to see his show this weekend. My first thought is--"How much are tickets to Iowa?" Then I remember all the times that he has inconvenienced himself for me. Oh yeah--never! And as much as I love him and as much as I'd love to see the show--I'm going to keep my Thanksgiving plans and if he wants to see me--he can inconvenience himself by giving me more than 3 days notice.

Feeling even better.