I don't have a clue when I took this. Sometime in May I think.
During May I started dating a really nice guy. It was really nice. It made me think that maybe there was a really nice pot of gold at the end of this horrifying rainbow.
He was great. So sweet. We started dating when he told me that he was afraid of how much he liked me. And he told me he thought I was so pretty.
It was great.
And then he told me he wanted me to lose weight.
And then he told me he felt claustrophobic.
And then I told him to go away for a week.
And then he told me that he felt like it was over.
And it was.
Sooooo.... yea.
I still go out probably once or twice a week with random guys. Some nice, some interesting.
I'm doing my best to play the game and to be open to whatever glorious love life has to offer. But honestly, dating is just not fun anymore.
I'm so wary of getting hurt for the 50 zillionth time again. So I don't really even see the point.
In other personal news, I have a large bone spur on the right side of my jaw. It's weird.
And another little health concern that I'm going to the doctor about... it's too gross to share online. But I'm sure it's no big deal.
Oh, and I'm peeling from my time at the pool last weekend.
In other news, I'm a huge fan of Doctor Who now thanks to the nice guy I dated in May.
4 comments:
Is it the newer Dr. Who with Billie Piper? BBC? I watched the first episode with random plastic mannequins. Tell me it gets better.
P.S. I love you just the way you are.
P.P.S. Sorry about the gross thing you couldn't share. Now all of us are going to be thinking the worst. hahaha
Eve, I have tears in my eyes, for this haunted, broken spirited girl whom I love, adore, and strive to be more like. Why is this happening? I do not know. What I do know is that you are a precious daughter of God. When you were born, your parents leaned in close to you to behold what a precious gift you are. You still are, Eve. Don't let any one- or the world- make you feel like you aren't. Ever. Your value isn't in your career, or your education, or your body. Your great value is in your testimony of Christ, your genuine belief in the Gospel and your dedication to it. Your value is that despite being ravaged and beaten down, and told that you aren't good enough, that you get up and keep going anyway. Please know that you are loved. I am not saying moving back is the answer... but you were happy and appreciated regularly here- by friends, students, faculty... so many and there are many more yet to come.
Don't you give up. Don't you (even for a second) forget that you are a precious daughter of God. That awe your mom and dad felt for you when you were born- Heavenly Father feels it even moreso. I can feel his heart-breaking for you too. Because I am your friend and I love you.
Alicia--It is the newer one with the plastic mannequins! It gets better. I love it! I love reading your bloggy. Your kids are so cute. As for the gross thingy--I think I have a bleeding ulcer.
Crystal--I cried when I read your comment. The thing is, my sadness was there in Iowa, in Virginia, DC, and now in Utah. I can't escape my own misery. At least in DC I had a career though. But I can't escape my own personal misery. I need to go to the doctor and figure out what's wrong with me. And then I need to become my best self regardless of where I am and who doesn't love me.
I have to completely agree with cms. I love you so much and that guy is a bastard. I listened to U2 today and had so many flash backs of my/our youth. Hang in there.
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