Not There

I want to write a book about my life.
But books are supposed to have happy endings.
And I'm not there.

At some point, you're supposed to reach your best self before you start the downward slope.

I feel like I'm sliding towards death. And I haven't yet reached the top of my mountain.

When I was younger, I created a picture in my mind of who I wanted to be when I was older.

This ain't it.

I don't know why I feel so inadequate right now. I am doing a lot of positive things.

I am hoping I'm suffering from some paranoid delusions, but I feel like my mom doesn't enjoy my company. It's a major bummer. When I was younger, we didn't spend much time with extended family, and I thought--when I'm older, we'll get together as a family. We'll have normal family get togethers. We'll have fun at birthdays like other regular families do.

When I moved back to Utah, I expected that I would enjoy family get togethers on a more regular basis.

Well, that's not happening. And I no longer have the "I live across the country" excuse.

I feel like a move to Bali is in order.