**Really not very interesting--You can read or not read, I'll still love you**
When I went to bed, the only pain I felt was the normal ache in the lower right quadrant of my back. Now that I have a new bed, I don't wake up with back pain--but throughout the day, tension builds and I commonly have severe pain by the end of the day. But it's tolerable and I don't mind.
But no tightness in the gall bladder.
I was smiling. I had been good. I had eaten properly throughout the day. Except for the ranch dressing. And looking back, the milk in the diet shake and the dairy in the Naked Protein drink... But no candy, no onion rings, no ice cream.
And only my regular bouts of stiffness that come from starting the day at 7am and ending it at midnight. I'm 34--aches and pains happen.
I crawled in bed, still smiling, but I noticed the stiffness was spreading. I had a hard time breathing, but I was still at peace and happy. I noticed that my CPAP mask didn't feel like it was providing much help.
At 4am, I woke up. I don't generally wake up in the middle of the night anymore with the CPAP machine. I was really bothered that I would have to go to the bathroom. The pain had not registered. It was there; it had woken me up--but it had not registered in my mind.
I went to the bathroom and distractedly began to push on my left side, then I massaged the center of the abdomen, then I began to push on the right side of my abdomen.
Suddenly, my mind connected what was happening in my body.
My arms went weak.
My fingers felt separated from the rest of me. The tightness pulled my in on myself. I stumbled from the toilet and ran for the pills that would relax my gall bladder so I could sleep. I struggled to grasp the bottle, but still my fingers felt so disconnected. I could barely lift the pitcher of water to pour. Walking was insanely hard. Holding still was impossible. My legs were shaking. I started to hyperventilate and moan softly.
I downed three pills and three ibuprofen.
The pain tightened.
I curled over and flopped on my bed face first, moaning into the mattress. I immediately felt I needed to go to the bathroom again. I ran to the toilet, but knew the best thing to do would be to throw up. I sighed as I realized I would lose the pills I had just taken--but I could not handle the pressure that was building up inside of me. I keened on my knees and begged my body over and over again--"Just pass, just pass, just pass". I imagined the stone and I pleaded with it to just go through. Finally, I stuck two fingers in my mouth and held them to the back of my throat. I began to gag. There wasn't a whole lot to throw up. The pills came up though--perfectly intact. I dry heaved several times after dispensing with all the contents of my stomach.
The body continued to clench.
I remembered a possible help--something called metphos--I dragged myself into the kitchen and filled up the glass of water and dripped in this super phosphorous concoction. I took the gall bladder pills--they're designed to relax you so that stones will pass easier.
I paced my room, swinging my arms, trying to distract myself.
I finally went into the living room and begin to watch late night/early morning television. Finally at 5:30am, I felt my body begin to relax. All the pain began to melt away. I fell asleep at 5:50am.
I am trying to put into words this pain. Mainly for myself to remember so that I can continue to strive to eat better and avoid this experience.
Pain is a funny thing. In the midst of it, it is the worst thing. But afterwards, the euphoria at it's passing makes it less memorable. I need to remember it in order to avoid it.
I am taking steps. I am doing all that I can. The fact is, I have stones. I can: take medicines to help clean out the stones--but they still have to pass, take medicines to help make the hole where the stones pass get bigger, avoid fat and sugar. This is difficult to do. There is fat and sugar in lots of different things. And I quite enjoy both.
If this continues, I may have to go to plan B and nuke this little gall bladder.
The pain is starting again. The tightness. Maybe it's just hunger. Drat. Now I have to eat. You'll forgive me if eating scares the piss out of me.
UPDATE: It wasn't gall stones. It's kidney stones. So that's a fun new development. Yay.
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