Proactive vs Reactive

Today it was pointed out to me that I have been reactive instead of proactive.

I'm wonderful at surviving emergencies. I am the best reactor in the world.  Ask anyone, I'm better than any nuclear reactor! I'm Reactor Woman! (Yet another awesome superpower.)

But I spend too much of my life in a state of reaction or recovery.

I enjoy the fact that I am adaptive. Because of my talents, I function in a crisis better than anyone I know. But today this wise friend pointed out that if I was more proactive, I wouldn't have to use my Super Reactive Skillz quite so much.

Today I am grateful for wise friends who know me and for the opportunity to put this bit of wisdom into practice.

What I Do

This is Lucy and Charlie Brown in Midvale Main Street Theatre's production of

You're a Good Man Charlie Brown

I'm so proud of this production. 

I'm a little tired. For a musical director, this show is like an ulcer waiting to happen.

It seems simple. Just a comic strip set to music....

But music underscores every joke. And the songs are complicated and instead of having a stage of voices to nail the complicated intervals and harmonies--you have 6 singers. That's it. 

I feel like everyone at Midvale Main Street has put forth their best in this production. 

I love the set. Tammy's idea to put a slide in the middle of the stage is genius. Johnny Schmidt can make any great set idea come to life. Ryan Fallis and Sean McLaughlin's set painting makes me smile. Jennifer Hairr's lighting is enchanting. Ben Mayfield's piano playing is wonderful.  Jan Harris's costumes are delightful. And Kristina Stone is the queen of props. And Ashlee Brereton's choreography is perfect. 

In this production, I do a lot of listening. I listen for cues to bring in the music. I listen for sound levels in order to balance voices with the music. I listen for harmonies and tempos to know what to correct. 

But occasionally I get to look up from the board and I get to see magic. I adore the stage pictures that Tammy Jackson Ross has created in her directing. I love these actors. They have created a show that is deceptively nuanced and utterly charming. 

It's only playing for 2 weekends. 

There's a lot of buzz.

But...

We aren't selling tickets online. 

Go to the website to get info on the theatre and times. 

www.midvaletheatre.com

Then just call the theatre at 801-566-0596 and leave a message for the date and time you wanna come. 

We'll save you a seat. 

Opening Thursday, Jan 31st. 

Th, F, Sat 7pm or Sat 2pm. 

7711 S Main St (700 West)

Midvale, Utah

Today I am grateful to do what I do in a place I love with people I adore. 

My Heart

This morning, sitting here. The snow falling again. I can feel heartache press in on me.

I have these funny ups and downs.

Like most normal people.

This is a year to express gratitude, but I don't want this to ever feel unauthentic. I need to make sure that the gratitude I express is tempered with genuine emotion, whether that be joy or melancholy.

I started to like a guy. We had a nice connection. He is attractive and witty. And we had a nice connection.

I let myself like him. I let my heart open. I don't know what is so uninteresting or frightening about the inside of my heart. Every time I show the inside of my heart, I'm left alone.

I think men believe me to be less than at first. Just another girl. Average. Funny. Pretty.

I wait a bit to show them my heart.

But I need them to know who I really am.

It's important in moving forward in a relationship that I be allowed to let down my walls and reveal my heart.

I crack it open and let the gooey passionate center show.

And for lesser men, it is more than they anticipated.

There are men reading this who have dated me who understand exactly what I'm talking about.

There's too much there.

My heart, the gooey passionate, colorful, complicated, poetry of my heart.

Like purple and blue and gold pumping tears and blood.

My heart.

It is what allows me to have the insight to be a good friend.

It gives me brilliant intuition on the stage.

It allows me to sing songs in a way that will make your own heart tremble.

My heart will only ever belong with one very special man.

So when I find someone that I like, I reveal it.

Just to see if he feels up to the task of being my match.

One man said, "Your spirit is so beautiful!"

He saw it. And he recognized me.

It is important for me to be able to love a man with my heart revealed and shining.

I hate the day after though because more often than not, the guy will reveal his own lack of heart and character and it will become obvious to both of us that he is not the man for me.

Someday.

Today I'm grateful for my heart.

My blue and red, gushing, golden, bleeding heart.

and the man who will one day treasure it.

Inventors

The driveway at work is covered in snow. Driving up the driveway was impossible.

I brought in two new bags of ice melt.

But I still have to shovel the driveway.

I shoved enough to get my car up the drive.

And these two bags of ice melt are staring at me.

I would be especially grateful today, if some kind inventor would invent a product where I could sprinkle ice melt along a driveway and it would melt the snow and the ice so I wouldn't have to shovel it away.

Soooo someone please make this happen.

Today I am grateful for the future invention of snow and ice melt.

Thankyouverymuch.

35

Today I am 35.

Last night the cast of You're a Good Man Charlie Brown performed at Quick Wits after last night's tech rehearsal.

Before the show started, I was running around with all the energy of a young 34 year old.

When the show ended at midnight, I had turned 35.

Suddenly I was sooooo tired!

But despite the horrible difference between my energy at 34 and my energy at 35, I still look totally hot.

Thankyouverymuchformyawesomegenesmommyanddaddy.

Today I'm grateful to be 35.

Cause some people aren't.

I'm in the prime of my life!

I am young enough to do what I want--and old enough to not care if I don't bother to get around to it!

HA!

Life is good friends. Life is very very good.

Have a Merry Little Evey Day!

Konner

This is my nephew Konner. 

And today this little cutie pie is 5 years old!

I can't believe how fast time flies. 

I was living in Virginia when he was born. 

I remember the excitement and seeing the texts and the pictures... and wishing I could be there too.

A big part of wanting to move back to Utah was so that I could be a part of the big moments. 

My sister Kim is a great mom and Kelli is a wonderful aunt. He is such a lucky little boy.

I love seeing him come light up whenever he is around his grandpa. 

Happy Birthday Konner! 

Today I am grateful for you. 

My Super Power

So this guy comes into the office and just stands there. Really awkwardly.

He says thank you for something or other.

him: You're a really nice person. Really nice. My friends were just saying that.

His feet are shifting all over the place.

He tells me about his stones collections.

(speaking of stoned....)
 
He says something about liking to hug and not to mind him if he gets too close.

I look him straight in the eye.

me: I keep my distance. No touching. Stay away. 

him: No of course not! This counter is what two feet wide?

Me: Sure.

Uncomfortable pause.



 He asks if he can salt the walkways for me. I tell him I've already done it.

him:  Oh but I slipped! I should do it again for you!

I let him.

He comes in and uses the bathroom.

him: "You need to put more toilet paper in there!"

me: I'll do it.

him: I can do it!

me: No, I will do it.

He moves over closer as I grab the toilet paper and takes the rolls out of my hands.

him: I need two for both rooms.

me: well, I.... Oh who cares. Fine. Take them into the bathrooms.

He comes back over to the counter. He stands there. I turn the music up in the office and type into the computer, trying to ignore him.

It is incredibly difficult to be rude. This isn't my nature. But being nice isn't an option.



me: Do you need something?

him: Just trying to be warm.

He's not wearing a coat.

I purse my lips and stare at the computer.

him: Well, I should get going.

I say nothing. Just keep staring ahead.



Not. Cool.

Today I am grateful for the wisdom to be a bitch. I felt like I controlled the situation pretty well. I feel in control and empowered. There wasn't a moment in that whole exchange that I gave him the satisfaction of appearing to be uncomfortable. It is sometimes difficult to not be the "nice girl" all the time. But I am grateful for the presence of mind to embrace my inner bitch. She is a powerful woman and I'm happy that she's a part of my make-up.

Wise Words

He is from Pennsylvania. He came out here to do some sales training at my work.

There were just three of us shootin' the bull and talking about the difference between out west and back east.

We talked about guns, underground parties, and the LDS Temple.

We talked about the horrible poisonous inversion and beautiful Park City above it all.

Of course, he asked about mormons. I tried to keep it short and sweet. He really wanted to know what made mormons different from other Christians. It's hard to keep that short--but I think I did fine keeping it light and inclusive. Everyone was working at being informative and not offensive.

One thing came up was that more knowledge is good.

There are wise men and women the world over who have shared their inspiration and revelation in an effort to make the world a better place.

 “The Superior Man is aware of Righteousness, the inferior man is aware of advantage.” Confucius

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." Mother Teresa

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."   
    ...             and another because I like Lao Tzu

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."

"There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."
William Shakespeare

“Great blessings await us at this time, and will soon be poured out upon us, if we are faithful in all things, for we are even entitled to greater spiritual blessings than they [the faithful at the time of Christ] were, because they had Christ in person with them, to instruct them in the great plan of salvation. His personal presence we have not, therefore we have need of greater faith.”  

                            .... and another one from Joseph Smith, Jr. 

“If men do not comprehend the character of God, they do not comprehend themselves.” 


Today I grateful for great teachers the world over. And the glorious interwebs that helps me to read their words. 

It's the Little Things

Today I am tired.

I am poor.

I am feeling bleh.

So here is a list of happy things that happened today.

I make this list in a selfish effort to renew and reset my tired little heart.

1) I had a great conversation with a dear friend.
2) I got a great email from my mom today with an inspiring story.
3) The temperature rose to 19!
4) I had a great conversation with an awesome anarchist.
5) I rented out 5 new storage units today.
6) I vacuumed the office. And now it is clean!
7) I found a can of tasty soup!
8) I am now set up to rent a Uhaul van at my storage facility.
9) I get to rehearse tonight with the amazing cast of Charlie Brown.
10) My car is running beautifully.
11) I am wearing a red dress.
12) I have purple pantent leather slippers on.
13) There's a nice man who keeps trying to take me out. (We'll see....)

That's all I got for you today.

Oh!

14) I saw the blue sky today!

Today I'm grateful for gratitude.

Queen Helene

I have a dry skin rash on the back of my legs. 

But the cool refreshing feeling of Queen Helene's Cocoa Butter makes it all better.

This is not an advertisement. 

Just one woman sharing her gratitude. 

Today a grandmother wheeled her grandbaby into the office. The little girl was miserably cold because they're homeless. And it's cold outside. 

So I took my Queen Helene's cocoa butter and rubbed the soft buttery happiness into her chubby chapped cheeks. 

Thank you Queen Helene!

Happy Martin Luther King Day friends! The world is a better place when we remember those things that make us the same rather than harping on our differences. 

"Many white Americans of good will have never connected bigotry with economic exploitation. They have deplored prejudice but tolerated or ignored economic injustice." 

Martin Luther King Jr. 

My Sister

I never really knew her growing up.

She was so much younger than me, and her mom and my dad divorced when she was pretty little.

But ever since I returned to Utah, I've had a chance to get to know her.

She is always thinking. She's really spunky. She is a fantastic mother. She defies expectations. She is a single mother with a baby who works incredibly hard to support herself and her little boy.

She is beautiful and kind. She has a million excuses to not go to work--to let someone else take care of things--but every day she wakes up and she gets things done.

Right now, her heart is broken.

She is fighting an uphill battle to do the right thing for herself and her little boy--and every day something comes along to make things more difficult.

But every morning, she acts responsibly for herself and her family despite everything.

I would describe everything--but it's not my story to tell. Suffice it to say, she has suffered/is suffering.

When she does explode on Facebook with frustration--it's because it's the last straw. And thank heaven she does! I sometimes get so involved in my own life that I forget to check up on her and make sure that she's all right.

But the fact is she will always be all right because she is amazing and strong and brave and hardworking. And hopefully, she knows that she can ask for help. She has family everywhere who love her!

I am so proud of her.

This is Bethany and I this afternoon. I love seeing her!

 This is my cutie pie nephew Kannon!

Look at that handsome kiddo!

Today I am grateful for the opportunity I have to love my little sister Bethany.

Lost in a Day

I set my alarm for 9:15am.
I woke up at 9:45am.
The alarm wasn't ringing.
I don't remember turning it off.

I said, "Good morning, self! It's Sunday morning! (It's not Sunday--even though the date on this will read Sunday--it's actually Saturday) It's Sunday morning! And I don't have to be anywhere until noon!"

I checked facebook and read my friend Corey's vow to get lots done this weekend and I thought,
"Silly Corey! It's Sunday! You should have thought of that yesterday!"
And I read some more stuff and posted about Les Mis....
And somewhere in that I realized it was Saturday.
And I had rehearsal...
And I needed to be there....

After rehearsal...
I decided that I would be very happy painting.
I decided that I would be so very happy painting.
So I painted. 
I felt like I was in craft hour in kindergarten.
I spray painted AND painted with a paint brush.
Go painting!

And now I'm sitting in my friend Heather's house watching movies and laughing.

Nothing about this day was planned.
Well, except rehearsal.
And that was just wonderful because You're a Good Man Charlie Brown is a beautiful play.
(Click on the link for more information on the show.)

I just kind of floated through the day with a big smile on my face.

Today I'm grateful for being able to lose myself in a day.
And for painting.
And Heather.

This Girl Was On Fire

The person in the above picture is an idiot. 

Despite how pretty the little sparks look, they are in fact very hot and when they come flying towards your face it burns. 

This person is clearly lacking some gene that tells him/her--"Avoid this situation."

But despite the face burning, it's kind of awesome to make these kinds of sparks. 

Today I had to use a sautering tool. I had to remove someone's lock. I had to reposition the sauter about 6 different times in order to finally get the lock off. And every time I moved, the sparks would fly towards a different part of my body. 

I was seriously bugged. I spent the whole time muttering under my breath. Completely annoyed at the tenant who had lost his key for the 12th time. 

But my street cred is totally through the roof now. 

I cut through metal! 

Boom! 

I'm THAT girl. 

The girl on fire! 

Bam!

Today I'm grateful for power tools and a good mask. 

Bountiful Blessings in Bountiful

Today was a significant day.

One of those days you want to remember. 

I went to visit my grandma in Bountiful today. We sat and talked for a couple of hours. She told me these funny stories about her mother and growing up on the farm in Oklahoma.

When her mother, Tommy, was 7, she decided she wanted to fly.

So she took her mother's large black umbrella and climbed up to the second story of the barn...
and she jumped!

The umbrella turned inside out and she dropped to the ground and landed on a piece of glass. When her mother got home, she spanked her, then wrapped up her bloody foot.

I just love picturing my little great grandmother climbing up the ladder in the barn to try out her flying experiment.

While we were telling stories, I was able to sit at her feet and give her a little pedicure. What woman doesn't want a pedicure? After talking, she sent me home with bread, fruit, and cough drops.

On my way out of Bountiful, I stopped to visit the guys at Midas. They repaired my radiator in December, but they weren't able to finish installing the housing because of a missing part. They said they'd fix things and put in the last part for free. So I drove over and sat in the lobby and talked with one of the mechanics, Jay, while the other mechanic Brian worked on my car.

Jay and I talked about his spiritual views on God, Buddhism, his children, his marriages, his views on management, his new corvette, and he sang the praises of my step-dad Brent. (My dad is kind of a big deal in the automotive world.:)

When I got in my car, dear Brian had not only fixed the housing of the radiator--he fixed my heater!

I have heat in my car now!!

Today I am grateful for good stories and good mechanics.

Sounds Like Hallelujah

It takes all my self control to keep myself from posting favorite songs all day long.

This is why I eat candy.

Because I spend my self control on not posting music.

But today, I am reveling in such wonderful music that I have to do a gratitude post on my current favorite tunes.

1. The Head and The Heart, "Sounds Like Hallelujah"

2. Iron and Wine, "Flightless Bird, American Mouth 'Wedding Version'" (long name....)

3. The Civil Wars, "Barton Hollow"

4. Gotye, "I Feel Better"

5. And of course, Taylor Swift, "I Knew You Were Trouble"

Right now, this music is my happy place.

Today I am grateful for music. Everyday I'm grateful for music. 

So what song is your happy place today?

Phone Calls About Phones

Today I got a phone call at work.

He said his name was Horatio Featherstone and since that's a fairly common name, I wasn't sure if I recognized him at first. But then I saw his address in the system and I remembered him immediately.

He was the older gentleman I described in this post back in August.

Later, we had shared some pizza together and spent an hour just shootin' the breeze. I hadn't seen him since the end of August.

He was calling to make sure that everything was good with his accounts. We did some business and then talked about life and I enjoyed hearing his sweet voice again.

An hour later, he called again. He had a question about his cell phone and he said, "You're such a smart person! I figured if anyone knew how to help me, it would be you!"

I couldn't help him because a degree in Renaissance Literature isn't very useful when you want to fix a broken cell phone.

But his call made me smile.

Today I am grateful for opportunities to share a moment with another human being. His calls brightened my day and made me feel significant in my little corner of the kingdom.

The Amazing Magnificent Marvelous Mr. Ben Mayfield

Right now, my evenings are filled with the music of Midvale Main Street Theatre's upcoming production of You're a Good Man Charlie Brown.

There are approximately a kazillion tracks of music in this play. 

 

The piano underscores everything. 

It is amazing music. Beautiful, jazzy, classical, complicated and delightful. 

Audiences love it! Actors love it! 

Piano players do not love it. 

But our production has a magical wizard who has created wonderful tracks for me to use during the production. He created all kazillion tracks on his magical piano for us to use during the production. And they are beautiful. And I love them. 

Many of you know him as Ben Mayfield. 

I know him as the man who managed to record one kazillion tracks in a week for the upcoming production of You're a Good Man Charlie Brown, thereby saving me from a massive coronary attack.

I am in awe of his talent.

The actors sound amazing.

The music is brilliant.

The set and costumes are coming together beautifully.

Just two weeks left until we open!

Today I am grateful for the Talented Amazing Magnificent Marvelous Mr. Ben Mayfield.

Numbers

Can you imagine being alive for 9 decades? 

My Popop is 90 today. 

That means in 1929 when the stock market crashed--he was 6 years old. 

When Pearl Harbor was attacked, he was 18. 

On Christmas Day, 1952, when my dad was born, he was almost 30. 

He was a trainer and VP for an insurance company for a long time. After retiring, he became an artist. He used to do ceramics and he created amazing pieces of embroidered art. Just a couple of years ago, he sent me a beautiful necklace he had made for me.

He played baseball and would have gone pro, but instead joined the Navy during World War II. 

After the war, he met and fell in love with my beautiful Nana. 

They have been married for 65 years. 

 Together, they have 3 children,  12 grandchildren, 5 great grand children and 1 on the way!

I called earlier today and he sounded wonderful. Healthy and happy.  He said that everywhere he turned, he was surrounded by loving friends and family.

Today I am grateful for numbers. 90 years of life. 65 years of love.

I love you Popop!

Being Home on a Saturday Night

This is my view just outside my sliding glass door. 

So snowy and pretty. 

 

And this is the view inside of my little apartment:

This is my 6th cup of hot herbal tea today. 

Or 10th...

It's sooooo tasty.

A yummy pot roast.

That I made. 

I raised the cow and spent the afternoon slaughtering my wee little Bessie. 

 

 

Not really. 

Miss America is on the TV.

 

I can't stop watching.

Right now I'm watching swim suit competition trying to remember which one of them talked about how she has to do special exercises to help with her flat butt.

 

I love how the camera just follows their little heinies...

 As a woman who hails from the corner of Flat Butte and Big Mountains, USA... I'm offended that the camera isn't focusing more on their little boobies.

And this is my roommate Clarissa. 

She keeps yelling offensive comments at the TV. 

And she's enjoying my awesome pot roast. 

 

Sort of. 

 

It's a little chewy.

 

So I am going to cook it a little longer. 

It's Saturday night bitches!

 

Today I'm grateful for the comforts of my little home. 

 

Old People

I am sitting at my desk at work. An old man came into my office and because the snow is still coming down, the conversation turned to the weather.

He told me two stories about living in Chicago.

In the winter, everyone will shovel out a parking space and place chairs in the space to reserve it for themselves for when they return from work. One man spent the hour clearing out his spot and while he was retrieving chairs, returned to find that his neighbor had parked his car there. So in the middle of the night, he took his hose and sprayed the car down. The car was an immovable block of ice for the rest of winter.

Back in the 70s, during gas shortages, cars were lined up down the block. One man was in a little old car. Just as he was about to pull into a spot to get gas, a woman in a fancy Cadillac zoomed in and took his spot without waiting in line. So he parked his car. Removed his gas cap with his key. Walked over to her car and removed her gas cap and replaced it with his gas cap. Then he locked it on with his key. Then he drove off and left.

Heee heee!

He said, "In Chicago, we don't get mad. We just get even."

His wife just passed away a week ago.

He carries his sadness with him. You can see it just beneath the surface.  But I am grateful that he took the time to share two very funny stories with me today.

My grandma is not feeling well right now and though I know death is inevitable, I am feeling sadder than I anticipated. I will miss her when she passes.

Many of my dad's family are in Arizona this weekend to celebrate my Popop's 90th birthday this weekend. I wish I could be with them.

I am not grateful for death. But I am grateful for the many sweet moments that make death so difficult.

Greeting Cards and Strippers

Today I am grateful for this:

And lest you think this blog is too mushy....

(It is... I know...)


I am also grateful for this:

Sledding/Careening

Today my  head is swimming. I've been juggling a lot of different thoughts, agendas, obligations, etc.

And I'm not always good at keeping my head above water.

But I learned a long time ago, that whether I was happy or sad, life just is.

So it does.

It happens all around me, all over me.

 I feel like I'm careening down a mountain on a sled.

I can think about the trees that are coming, the curves ahead, the cliff, the rocks...

Or I can sit up and enjoy the breeze and prepare to handle things as they come.

Today is about handling things. And sometimes I wish I didn't give myself quite so much to handle.

But really, truly, things are better.

As I slide over rocks and towards trees, I also have opportunities to share with amazing friends, listen to beautiful music, and enjoy my work.

One of the bright spots on my careening journey down today's mountain was seeing Liz for the first time in ages last night!

She is always lovely, but I love this pic of her and her husband Josh.

Liz is talented, smart, insightful, adventurous, beautiful, generous...

And my friend.

Today, I am grateful for Liz.
And the opportunities I have to zoom down this mountain of a day.

Outdoing the Undone

It's Tuesday.

Today, I would like to discuss my sense of fashion.

It hasn't changed much over the years.

When I was in high school, I wore the same jeans over and over and over again. Because once you find the perfect fit, why bother looking anywhere else.

So I looked like this....

(pony tail, no make up, jean vest, black shirt...)

More often than I looked like this...

(hair done up in fancy curls, make-up, wearing my great-grandmother's jade necklace...)

I ride this line between really done up and really undone. I don't have a lot of "in between" clothes.

In the theatre, you're either in rehearsal where you need to be comfortable and mobile, or you're at an opening night where you gotta look like a supah stah!

Today is Tuesday.

I am alone in the office. I will be headed to rehearsal right after work.

I am dressed for function and comfort.

So what's the opposite of a fashion blog?
      A hipster blog? (ha ha ha! Hipsters wish they were as cool as I am!)

In true Eve Style, I give you.....

 "Tuesday's Great Get Up"

Before you throw the book at me, just remember, when I've a mind, I can look like this....

But not today.

Today I am grateful for years of dressing like a bag lady that make it possible for me to joyfully continue in this vein... Forever. And Ever. If I feel like it.

Tattered Pictures.. la da da dee da dee dum...

My grandma gave me a bunch of photos last week. 

I decided it would be a good idea to scan them into the computer. 

I was fine through almost all the photos. 

Then this heavy weight of sadness just hit me. 

Without any warning, tears just started to fall. 

These pictures are all about 30 years old. 

Jack has been gone for almost 10 years now. 

Matt is living and working in Iowa.

And I'm here. 

But once upon a time, we were small and cute and together. 

I do not appear to be up to much good here. 

Jack is about to pull Matthew away in his new wagon. 

These two brothers were so close. 

We both love Matthew so much!

Apparently something was very funny.

We are warm little ghosts. And we made our own bags!

Everyone looks so bright and happy!

And I'm crying again. 

Today I am grateful that I didn't wear eye make up.

I am grateful to my grandma for saving these pics.

I am grateful for my parents for wrangling us

and teaching us how to have fun together.

I am grateful to look back and see smiles. 

Comfort and Warmth

The snow is sticking.
My laundry soap is frozen in the car. I had to shake little bits of it out onto my clothes while I was at the laundromat the other day.
I found two bottles of frozen vegetable juice in my trunk that I'd forgotten about.
I feel like I'm in a real live winter tundra.
Everything is more romantic. Like Doctor Zhivago. 
I have never liked winter before, but this year, I'm okay with it.

I skipped Stake Conference today.
I thought about going, but yesterday I was exhausted.
I decided to just let today be what it is.
So I slept in.
At 1, I met up with some new friends to eat a tasty muffin at Mimi's.
It was a busy table.
Lots of conversation flying back and forth.
Good people.

I headed to the theatre and met with Tammy and Ben.
We talked about music for Charlie Brown.
We talked about theatre throughout the valley.
We talked about upcoming shows and the joy of creating worthwhile theatre.

I came home and chatted with Clarissa.
We exchanged stories about our weekend adventures.
We were animated, angry, giddy, hilarious and comfortable.

Now we're both relaxing on our respective couches.

Today I'm grateful for my comfort in uncomfortable times. Warm coats, warm friends, warm pursuits, and a warm couch. 

Shakespeare, Memories, The Masonic Temple

During graduate school, we met for many of our classes in a large assembly room in the Masonic Temple. It was a beautiful room. Rich blue carpets, intricate details, colorful paintings, carved wood, long benches. We used to practice our Shakespeare in this large room. I have such wonderful memories of that room.

Tonight I went to see Grassroots Shakespeare Company's production of The Tempest.

They performed in the Salt Lake City Masonic Temple.

It was lovely. Brash overdone humor. Incredible physical choices. A comedic clownish heroine. A charming and lovable prince. And a thoughtful Prospero.

There were moments where it was difficult to hear the words over the musical underscoring--but the underscoring also added some lovely moments. And as with many productions where there is no director--the actors allowed themselves to perhaps go too far--(something I ADORE when watching Shakespeare)--but Dan Anderson, who played Prospero knew just when to pull back and just be. He drew us in. His final speech was magic.

He stood in the center and simply entreated the audience. There wasn't a doubt in anyone's mind that he was speaking to us and that we alone could free him from the despair of losing his art.

Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
And what strength I have's mine own, 2405
Which is most faint: now, 'tis true,
I must be here confined by you,
Or sent to Naples. Let me not,
Since I have my dukedom got
And pardon'd the deceiver, dwell 2410
In this bare island by your spell;
But release me from my bands
With the help of your good hands:
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill, or else my project fails, 2415
Which was to please. Now I want
Spirits to enforce, art to enchant,
And my ending is despair,
Unless I be relieved by prayer,
Which pierces so that it assaults 2420
Mercy itself and frees all faults.
As you from crimes would pardon'd be,
Let your indulgence set me free.

It made my heart sigh.

Today I am grateful for Shakespeare's enduring words and that tonight I was able to share in a beautiful production. It isn't the same as being in Staunton and playing with my dear friends from the American Shakespeare Center and Mary Baldwin College, but since I am thousands of miles away, I'll take it. 

A couple of preshow artists played songs while Prince Ferdinand practiced his juggling.

Free Stuff!

A few years back, I worked in high end retail. An average joe came in and said he was looking for coats for the women in his family. Thinking--"average guy" and "women"--I steered him to our less expensive $200 coats. They were beautiful, but they weren't Spanish Merino Shearling coats--which if you've never felt the real thing, feel like butter and are worth every penny.

My manager pulled me aside and said, "Eve, he just sold (insert large company) for (insert crazy number) million dollars. You can show him the other coats too."

The homeless and the plight of the homeless seems to be a hot topic right now. And rightly so.
Baby, it's cold outside!

I had a long talk with a woman who stores her medications here at the storage facility the other day. She expressed some concerns about living in the shelter. These are simply her words--her concerns. I fully recognize that this is one woman's perspective. I am open to other perspectives on the issues that she brought up with me.

She told me that the shelter is divided up into different sections: families, addicts, and working people. Each section is further divided into men and women, except the families. 

Here are some of the things she shared:

 If you're an addict or part of a family, you're more likely to get help.

The showers have no curtains or doors. 

She saw small children outside in the freezing weather standing near a group of people smoking spice. 

Her friend's doctor donated sleeping bags for everyone at the shelter. She knows of no one at the shelter who received a sleeping bag. 

Best Buy donated small televisions for everyone at the shelter. She knows of no one who received a television. 

A pan handler talked about bringing in "only $200" that day. 

There are residents who receive housing, food and furniture to start over who return to the shelter just months later. 

I have been trying to figure out how to share these concerns. I don't have answers. I don't have an agenda. But this is a woman who is trying to find work and who lives in the shelter. I hear a lot of opinions and rhetoric from people about the homeless. Form whatever conclusions you like from this list of concerns. I just thought it would be good to share the thoughts from someone who is in the situation.

The conclusions that I have drawn:

Some of the people in the shelter are there because they choose to be there.

Some of the people in the shelter are there because they have no other place to go.

Some of the people in the shelter work, but can't afford to pay for medications, food and housing.

Some of the people in the shelter are addicts who choose to take whenever possible in order to feed a habit that they cannot escape.

I am not accountable for how others behave. I am only accountable for how I behave towards others.

If you're going to pity a homeless person, then pity us all. We are all beggars in one way or another. Frankly, I'd prefer to be seen as a capable human being. Pity does no one any favors. But empathy and imagination motivates us to give sincere charity.

Take time to talk. Smile. Look people in the eye. If you feel prompted to share, then share. If you feel uncomfortable sharing, then don't.

I had a nice talk with a guy the other day who is staying at the shelter. He says that he used to be in the mortgage business, but he lost everything. He spends his days writing now. He looks forward to the next phase in his life, but he's doing his best right now. He's just where he is right now.

The fact is--everybody is finding their own way through this world. We all have our weird survival strategies. And most of us are just surviving economically.

Today I am grateful that life is about more than just whether I have money. I am grateful for good conversation, smiles, friendship, scriptures, music, love, beauty.... So many good things that transcend failure and success. These are things I will enjoy whether I have the money to buy all my friends fancy new coats or whether I can only offer a slice of pie!

Marc Jacobs and Ikea

Designer Marc Jacobs understands that just because it's 7 degrees outside, doesn't mean you should stop wearing cute shoes! Just wear a pair of sensible socks with those cute shoes!

It's the latest and greatest trend!

And today I jumped right on board.

It made running back and forth between the apartment and the laundry room

 both comfortable and stylish!

Thank you Marc Jacobs!

I also redecorated the kitchen wall with some cheap square mirrors from Ikea.

The little mirrors were $1.99 a piece. 

My roommate already had the stenciled sign, so it all came together really nicely! 

Today I am grateful for Marc Jacobs and Ikea. 

(and Clarissa for helping me put the square mirrors on the wall, Kristi for asking me to go to Ikea with her, my aunt for my awesome fuzzy socks, and Robin because I got to talk to her on the phone today and I'm sure good conversation with an old friend inspired my awesome sense of style...)

Today was a good day.

Civil Wars, Charity, Thinking

I am sitting at work listening to The Civil Wars sing on Spotify. I'm in this wonderful little zen place.

I'm back at the storage facility downtown.

During the holidays, I saw a mom and dad stay late to fill their car full of gifts to surprise a less fortunate neighbor family with for Christmas.

One day, a homeless man came in and donated a child's backpack to the Toys for Tots drive.

A woman brought her frail friend in and took care of getting her a storage unit for her things after she lost her home.

Another man came in with his brother and helped him to get a storage unit for him.

I need to get more work done. I have a lot to do, but I'm kind of stuck in this strange little holding pattern. It's probably the cold.

Today I'm grateful for The Civil Wars, examples of charity, and times where I get to take a moment to just think.

Snow and Meatballs

I hate the cold, but if it's going to be cold, I am giddy that the world is covered in drifts of snow. It is beautiful. I feel like I'm in a magical kingdom where I get to drink wassail and cuddle under blankets. The world is crisp and beautiful. The stars shine like glitter and reflect on snow and ice. The world is a universe above and universe below. And I get to sit in my blankie and enjoy it from my couch as I stare through the sliding glass door.

And last night I got to eat meatballs at the New Years Dance. And today at Ikea. And they were tasty.

Gratitude Day 1: Snow and Meatballs