My Complications

Today my grandma shared an observation she made in a conversation with a girl in her Sunday School class. The girl commented on how early people used to get married. My grandma noted she was one of those young girls. She told her that her mother wanted her to wait until she was older, but that she now has a grand daughter whose mother wishes she had married younger. 

She made the comment in passing, but it made me wonder. I never realized that my mom was disappointed in me in the same way my great grandmother was disappointed when my grandmother eloped at 18.

I began to wonder if I had any more choice in the matter than she did. They married young, had three kids, and 12 years together before he died. Marrying later would have led to a completely different life.

I look at my life and wonder where I made decisions that that took me away from marriage.

I really only thought about it for a moment.

Later tonight, I settled into the couch and turned on the TV. I watched a couple episodes of Sex and the City. It was the one where Carrie's ex, Mr. Big, gets engaged to Natasha and Carrie has to come to terms with why he chose to marry this other woman and not her.

Yup. Kinda perfect.

Carrie resolves that there are just some women too complicated for some men.
I am not simple. I am pretty drama free, but I am a beautiful mystery. And the only way I'm getting married is when I someday find my match.

Today I'm grateful to be one of those funny jagged little puzzle pieces.  My guy is complicated and wonderful and I look forward to enjoying how we two weird ones fit together. In the meantime, I will enjoy being single in my 30s.