Competition

I have been searching for motivation lately.

I've been off. I've felt this gnawing dissatisfaction.

And I finally figured out what as it the core of my misery.

I like competition.

And I'm losing the game. As an LDS woman--there will always be women who are better at being an LDS woman. As an actor, I'm not winning any parts. As a single gal, I'm not winning at love. As a consumer, I'm in debt.

I'm losing. I'm a loser.

(I was going to insert a picture of roadkill here, but the pictures are seriously disgusting.)

As a person who likes to compete, knowing that I'm losing, it undoes me. If there isn't a chance I'm going to win, why try? I'm not good at intrinsic rewards. I like it when I have a fighting chance. This is why I'm great at school! I get to compete with my classmates and with myself. There's a judge to tell me, "You're a winner!"

I'm not good at doing things simply because the action is wise. I want to win!

So I'm going to honor my competitive streak. I'm going to create more competition in my life and motivate myself. I want to win at life.

These are the images that motivate me today.

Meryl Streep as the super powerful Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. That bitch uses everything at her disposal to rule the world! I shall find my inner Miranda!

I shall tackle my problems like a BYU tackle tearing victory away from a Ute... back when they used to do that.

I am a fierce lioness. I own this world bitches. This life is mine.

And on this amicable note, best of luck to all the Olympic competitiors! "We are the world... We are the Children..." And all that holding hands business...