I am enjoying a glorious week.
But it's been incredibly scary.
There is a guy, a really great guy, who is absolutely mad for me. And after getting to know him--I am completely head over heels for him. Right now.
This could change later. We may discover that we're really not compatible.
I fell asleep last night gripped in fear that he might call me in the morning and say, "It's been real. It's been fun. But you know. . . " blah blah. I woke up scared to death. The fear was debilitating and I wanted to throw up.
I finally prayed. I specifically did NOT pray to know whether it was right or not. I don't wanna know!! But as I prayed, I felt my heartbeat calm. I felt the fear leave. I remembered that I have been a strong, independent and happy person for a long time. And if I am alone, I will be fine.
I'm going to enjoy this. Every minute of this. Whatever THIS is. I'm having a great time. And I'm not going to ruin it by being afraid. I'm having a swell time.
I shall no longer ruin a perfectly happy week by being neurotic over possibilities.
It's really nice. He is a great guy. And he totally digs me. ME! Crazy!! Who knew?!
5 comments:
pressing the "LIKE" button to this for sure!!!
Enjoy the ride Evey. Just have fun and relax. I know that is easier said than done, but do it!! Can't wait to see how much fun you have with someone who adores you. Relish it while you can, cause how often does something like that come around? YAY!!!!!
I know that fear well. It has led me to do some pretty psycho things! Seriously though, it is scary because you are putting yourself out there, becoming vulnerable and just hoping that it is reciprocated.
There is a (country) song that has lyrics that I have thought more about than possibly any other lyrics out there:
Loving might be a mistake, but its worth making.
It is true, scary. True, both of those, but it is true.
Good luck girl. I adore you!
Wonderful! I have to remind myself frequently to just BE. Not to think about things until I analyze them to death. I'm proud of you and I'm glad he's helping you have a lovely time.
i knew.
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