Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Living With Gratitude

We had a few kindhearted souls bring coats into my workplace to donate to the homeless LGBTQ youth in downtown Salt Lake City. We filled the car with goods.

Last night, Daniel and I headed to the Utah Pride Center to make the donations. We loved driving up the rainbow painted bridge to the center. Daniel helped carry in one of the bags. It was pretty uneventful. On the way up, we talked about all the things we're grateful for. Daniel donated his leap frog so that they would have something to play with.

After leaving the Pride Center, we went to the Salt Lake City Library. Daniel got a kick out of the fountains, the elevators, and the stair case.

We went down the kids section on the 1st floor, and Daniel found a friend named Maggie. She insisted they play. And he loved it! They ran around all the nooks and crannies they have designed for kids, playing hide and seek, and pretending they were in a castle. She kept trying to make him the scary dragon, but he wanted to be the cool prince.

After we left the inside of the library, we went searching for my brother Jack's name on the Celebration of Life wall. And we found it!

Daniel thought it was splendid that they had built beautiful statues just for Jack. I thought it was pretty splendid as well.

Happy Thanksgiving Jack! We miss you so much! We are so grateful for the joy and love you gave us. We hope we can live grateful for all that we can share with one another here on earth.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

On Pondering Goals

Every Tuesday, we get together with a couple of families at Daniel's school, under the watchful tutelage of the school psychologists, and learn ways we can be better. We eat dinner as a family and use conversation cards and we abide by strict rituals to make everything go smoothly. After that--the kids enjoy socializing together, while the parents learn from the psychologists better ways to make the family work. It's a joy. Yesterday, we made a family timeline where we discussed important events in our family's history and they asked us to set goals for the future of our timeline and discuss ways we could reach our goals and ways that would keep us from reaching our goals.

When the good doctor asked me what my goal was, I couldn't think of a thing to say. My mind was completely blank. I finally said, "To go on an airplane as a family!" And so we discussed what we would need to do to go on an airplane trip.

But still... NOTHING?

This morning, I thought about it some more... my goal is for Daniel to flush the toilet and wash his hands. My goal is to fold the last load of laundry that has been sitting in the dryer before I have to start the laundry over again. My goal is to keep ONE of the house plants from dying. My goal is vacuum more often, since Atticus is currently shedding like a beast.

(side note: Antonio likes to pretend that Atticus's job is to keep the dogs off the bed and that she fails at it every day. He bellows, "You had ONE job Atticus! Now I know it wasn't you, because you would NEVER get up on the bed! But please, keep the other dogs off of the bed!" Daniel gets very confused. Yesterday, he ran into our room, grabbed a handful of blond fur and took it into us and emphatically proclaimed, "It is Atticus!! See! This is HER FUR! She is the dog on the bed!!" Antonio replies, "Never! She would never!" And the little boy waves his evidence in the air! "It is ATTICUS!" Meanwhile, I sneak my meat to Atticus  while we watch the drama unfold.)

My goal is to get through the day. My goal is to shower. My goal is to feed everyone else and drink enough water. My goal is to try and not be overwhelmed by the expectations of the holidays. My goal is to keep the budget and not forget about the check I wrote to one doctor that might cause everything else to bounce... oh wait.. too late.

But goals make life rich. Goals make the mundane worth it. And so I need to ponder and pursue goals. I need to make room for my own personal advancement. I need to remember that I have to invest my time and thoughts into dreaming again.

Easier said than done. I shall ponder.