Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Helpful People

I have so much to blog about. I haven't been very good lately. I always think about the pictures I have to upload, and so I put it off. But, today's blog doesn't involve pictures.

During the past few months several people have taken it upon themselves to confront me about my weight. I never quite know how to respond or react to these people. They appear to do it out of love. Quite frankly, the approach itself seems a little asinine.

For example, I believe my dad was thinking of the commercial about stroke victims--(the one where the guy is walking around with an arrow through his chest and the voiceover says, "you wouldn't ignore this guy, don't ignore the signs of a stroke.") He said, "It's like you have a bullet in your head." And so he took it upon himself to point out my "gross obesity."

As I try to tell myself that he is doing this out of love, I can't help but wonder what kind of a blind idiot he thinks I am. If I had a bullet in my head--or an arrow coming out of chest--don't you think I'd notice it! I don't walk up to jaundice looking, toothless people and say, "Hey just in case you weren't aware--you have a meth problem!"

This weekend, my grandma--my father's mother--felt it was her duty to have the same conversation with me. "It's gone too far. You are just too heavy. It's not good for you!"

And here I was thinking about how lovely it was to be overweight. Thank you for your enlightening facts.

I left Sault Ste Marie at 5:00am and arrived in Washington DC at 6pm. I had a lot of time to process these various and sundry conversations. I tried to figure out what signals I was sending out that blared to others, "I am incapable of noticing obvious details about my own body."

I realized that in my efforts to be happy with who and where I am, I have mistakenly given the impression that I am unaware of my flaws.

I recognize that I need to lose weight. Is this going to stop me from being happy now? Nope.
I recognize that I am not as healthy as I would be if I lost weight. Is this going to stop me from working out? Nope.
I recognize that I am not as beautiful as I would be if I lost weight. Is this going to stop me from going out on dates with great guys? Not a chance.

But I'm afraid by striving to live a happy life, I have given off the false impression that I am unaware of my need to lose weight. And so certain people have taken it upon themselves to point out the obvious.

Well, allow me to point out the obvious. Dad--you're narcissistic, lazy, and incapable of holding a job longer than 2 years. Nana, you're old.

Oh gee--did I say too much? It's not fun having your insecurities thrown in your face--is it!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Stevie Wonder

Best performance from the Michael Jackson Memorial. Just listen to it. Unless you're like me, and have it playing constantly because it is perfection on earth. Another reason to love Stevie Wonder.

On a more personal note, a friend passed away last week. I was never best friends with her. She was older than me, but she served as a silent mentor. I loved her work ethic, her talent, and her ability to create a life in the arts out of the normal, mundane collection of hours that we all have on this earth. While others created excuses, she created memorable roles. I still remember watching her in my purple tunic every night as her servant in Hamlet. Every night, I knew what she would say and do, and every night she would take me by surprise and I'd choke back tears.

She was so young and still so beautiful. I sat and listened to this song over and over again last night, thinking of Trish.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Things that Annoy Me--Warning: TMI

Things that annoy me:
mass texts. I don't know how to respond! And I don't know if I'm really invited, or if the sentiment even matters if it's going to 500 other people! So, I don't. Respond.
plants dying. Currently, the plants on my back deck are all dead. All of them. The other decks of happy smiley plants, and my deck looks like the home of Morticia Adams.
lazy students. nuff said.
missing friends. I wish you were here! (You know who you are. That's right, it's YOU!)
buying books and never reading them.
gaining weight. poo.
never ending visits from Aunt you know who. If I lost weight, this issue would go away I'm sure.
snoring. I have a sore throat from snoring. What. the. heck?!

I know that the answers to health problems lie in my weight. I know. I know. I know.

Just let me complain already. Just because I know the immediate cure doesn't mean I don't want to complain about the horrible inconvenience of it all. I could buy stock in the Always Corp.


For the past 10 days, I have been traipsing around DC with my mom. It has been wonderful! She came with a co-worker, Elizabeth. It was great fun traipsing around with them both.

List of things we did:

Dumbarton Oaks
National Cathedral
Old Europe Restaurant
Driving to Chincoteague Island
Swimming in the ocean where the waves beat me into the sand, but I continued to come back for more!! You can beat on me as much as you want--I will never stop loving you!
Eating at Seafood restaurant
Driving home
Tour of White House
Old Ebbitt Grill
Eastern Market
Folger Library
Gadsby's Tavern
Ghost Tours in Alexandria
Memorials Galore!

Yesterday we gave each other pedicures and went shopping. It was so much fun to spend lots of money on clothes for my mommy! She deserves to be spoiled!

And today, we went to Candi's Candys and got funny candy. We bought Nick a candy snake called a "hissy fit!" And we got Brent a fake devilled egg. And I got a pound of salt water taffy.

I miss her already. It was so nice having her here.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Follmer Family Visit

The Follmer's came to visit family in the DC area last week and I was able to spend the morning with them. I love these kiddos! We had a great visit, shared stories, laughs, and canteloupe. Yum!

Little Michael likes to be called Macca. And his favorite animal is a glow in the dark duckie. He sleeps with it. Well, lights in little duckies fade and his parents have been trading out one old duck for a new one--but they're down to their last duck. Last night while wandering around Alexandria I came across a glow in the dark duckie! I'm happy to be a source of joy to this little child. Also, I like that I'm postponing his first experience with loss.

Monday, July 6, 2009

A Capitol 4th!

This is the baby who sat next to us as we gathered to watch Aretha Franklin, Big Bird and the gang from Sesame Street, Barry Manilow, and Natasha Bettingfield sing at the Capitol 4th concert at the . . . . wait for it . . . . wait for it . . . .

The Capitol!

These are the fireworks. I love this picture because it shows the picture of the fireworks on the screen--(I believe they were being televised) and you can see the actual fireworks too!


We were there. But, really, we just listened to the concert and danced around in the grass. This is Barry Manilow through the trees.

These are the people watching the concert. The happy girl in the corner is Darla. Darla is a crack up.

As night descended on the crowds, I made my way up to get a better view of the fireworks and to take pictures of all the people gathered on the steps of the capitol.

More fireworks. Blurry Picture.

This is me behind people watching the fireworks.

If you look closely you can see all the little people gathered to watch the concert.

I hope you had a Happy Independence Day!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Observations on Eating Nothing

This week I've been working hard preparing for my new quarter that starts in 4 weeks. (It's a ways away, but I'm trying to get ahead.)

Today was supposed to be my day to get things done, and I got stuff done. But I was so tired from eating nothing on my new 3 day diet. Seriously, I felt nauseous with hunger for a good part of the afternoon.

I LOATHE beets, but I happily ate them at 4pm because I thought I was going to die of hunger. For breakfast, I had 5 saltine crackers and a piece of cheese. And an apple. After that feast, I went into Falls Church and took care of some business at the head Stratford offices. I came home and (surprise surprise!) was very hungry and looking forward to a nice healthy lunch of . . .

a hardboiled egg and toast.

(sooooo hungry . . . . .)

I continued through my vast list of things to do, making phone calls, finding things to do next week when mom is here, figured out new books for classes, graded papers, etc.

And tried not to vomit with hunger. Seriously, my stomach was clenching and I could barely see straight my sugar was so low.

I literally devoured the beets at 4pm. Then I ate a cup of cauliflower and mixed it with some tuna. I don't know if anything has ever tasted so good. It's crazy how good things taste when you're hungry.

Then I chopped up a cup of canteloupe.

By that time, it was too late. I needed to function. In the diet, I get to have a half a cup of ice cream. I ate more ice cream than I should have. A lot more.

And then I had 2 hotdogs. (without buns though!)

And now I am happy. And not hungry anymore.

I went 3 days eating perfectly, but I fell down on the home stretch. Seriously, eating nothing is a lot harder than it looks on paper!