I had a great conversation with my friend Alisha about feminism on Friday.
How many of you know a man (or a woman for that matter) who believes he's very hip to equal rights for women, and then they say something that sheds light on their true feelings on the subject?
When it comes to this topic, I'm pretty open minded. I realize that things have changed so much over the last 50 years that not everyone is going to see eye to eye. And we all have a multitude of different perspectives that influence our own world view.
During this conversation, I began to identify what I find acceptable, and what I found unacceptable.
I like that men and women are different. Differences are good and make us enjoy one another that much more.
I have no desire to become like a man in order to feel powerful. I'd much rather be like a woman--with or without power.
Women are inherently powerful because of our inborn ability to read a situation, to empathize and to listen. So, the need to prove myself powerful by acting like a man seems counterintuitive.
At BYU, I came to expect that there would be a certain bias towards men. The LDS church is a Patriarchal organization. As men are called to positions of authority, you can sense the meekness as they take on responsibilities that seem beyond their own capacity. But, with the help of the members of the congregation--both male and female--these men are able to fulfill this job and they learn to become great leaders. Women are not asked to lead--but it is never a question of the capacity to lead. Men have the responsibility of leading in one area, while women have the responsibility of leading in other areas. I have never heard it said that men are BETTER leaders than women. Perhaps they are. But as I have seen things administered, I have noticed in leadership meetings that if given the opportunity, women will serve well in whatever capacity you give them. Men have a tendency to let themselves focus on one aspect of life at a time. Unless they are given a specific responsibility, most men would rather concentrate on career or whatever aspect of their life they're most interested in at the time. Women thrive on balancing family, work, education, social agendas, etc.
What I'm saying in that long rambling paragraph is this: I have never felt that women were viewed as less than men in the church. We are viewed as having different strengths, and as needing different opportunities to grow and serve.
That said--I found after moving to Virginia that outside the cocoon of the LDS Church there were a lot of men who felt they were quite feminist in their leanings. But, through little statements here and there and actions too trivial to recount here--I found that some of these so called feminist men seem to see women as less capable than men. Outside the realm of religion, the disadvantages of women in society might seem to be the result of truly being the weaker sex.
But within the illumination of religion, we can see why we as the "weaker" sex might choose to live within the so-called constraints of a patriarchal society. We have the best of all worlds. We get to create, live lives of passion, service, love, work, follow, and yes, lead.
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