This is Cartman killing someone from 1776. It makes me laugh.
And this is naked Cartman.
I've been really tired and bummed out all day.
I just found out my dad is getting a divorce from his wife of 13 years. It's no exaggeration to say that I have spent more time with her than him over the past decade. She's wonderful and I'm ticked off.
So I stayed in all day because I had 0 obligations. I didn't go to church. I just watched Friday Night Lights, Doctor Who and now I'm watching South Park. And the South Park episodes are cracking me up.
I feel fat and horrible. I get to go and see my dad this weekend at my cousin's wedding. My cousin's baby is absolutely gorgeous. Here is a picture of her holding her baby girl. I want a little red headed girl....
But no... instead I'm alone. And life sucks. And I hate it.
And I'm going to go to the wedding where all my family members will try to "help me" by pointing out all the ways I could improve myself so that I can catch a man...
"You know Eve, have you considered marrying a guy who isn't mormon?"
"You know Eve, most men just don't want to be with a woman of your size... not on a long term basis anyway."
"So why exactly did you get your masters if you're not using it now?"
Kill. Me. Now.
