Thursday, March 31, 2011

Men and Women

Men and Women...
Women and Men...

Two things happened last week that make me feel like perhaps we haven't come as far as I'd like to think, baby.

(You know the saying, "We've come along way baby!" or something like that...)

My roommate volunteered to help my parents lay tile in their house, which I thought was awesome! My parents were eager for the help, but whenever I'd request a tool or make a suggestion that she had made--they would double check with male friends. At first I couldn't figure out their reaction. Certainly, she needed to earn their trust. She is a virtual stranger to them. But there's this tiny little part of me that wonders if the fact that she is woman didn't have a little bit to do with the lack of trust. I don't think it was on purpose... but there's a little part of me that wonders.

Second example:

My mother has her masters in education and spends her days advising education students. In other words, she is an expert in education. My roommate is finishing her high school diploma. She's taken college classes here and there for years, but she never finished high school. No biggie. Lots of homeschooled kids don't finish. My mom sat and talked with her about her goals and advised her to just take her GED and get it over with. Done and done. No biggie. No need to take all the classes required to finish the diploma. She already nearly has her Associates degree. Big whoop.

A few days later, I saw her working on her classes. I asked her if she was preparing for her GED. She said no. She told me that her boyfriend had told her that it would be better to get her Diploma.

Her boy friend.


For the LOVE!!!

I understand that we all need to prove ourselves in this world, but am I wrong in believing that women are under far more pressure to prove themselves than our male counterparts? My mother has her masters in education. Her boyfriend has no added knowledge about the educational system. But somehow his opinion matters more.

I don't get it.

Another male/female tangent:

My friend Gabe and I were discussing music, religion, logic, atheism, spirtuality--etc... last night.

After approaching these grand topics from very different vantages, I said that the thing I loved about music was that it combined the male virtues of logic and order, (time, notes, tempo, theory) with the female ideals of passion, dynamics and emotion.

He liked that.

We were discussing religion, and he was suggesting that you can't prove God exists. I told him that I hated that our society places more value on tangible and quantifiable objects-- but we ignore the veracity of immeasurable items like love, inspiration, and connection.

He liked that too.

We both agreed that the differences between men and women and the different views we share make the world a better place.

I love our differences, but I do not enjoy needing to prove myself to anyone. Man or woman.

Question: Are women or men the biggest enemy to true equality for women?

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Every Other Day Diet

Today was a perfectly lovely day.

I woke up late, which is the way it should be. I like sleeping in!

I got ready and had a tasty bowl of oatmeal!

I sang soprano in the choir! I love singing in the choir. I love singing in the choir!

Then... across a crowded room... in walked...

Mike and Maryanne!!

I ran from the stand and hugged them both!

It was wonderful! During the church meeting, I sat next to them and my new friend Revere. It was wonderful. I know I've already said that.

After a great dinner, Maryanne and I started discussing diet ideas.

and I had an inspiration!

I want to start a new diet.

It's called the "Every other day" diet. I'm going to be very very good, every other day. Why? Because I have a tendency to treat every single day like, "The Last Day before I start a very strict new diet".

But with this new diet--I'm going to be very very good and tell myself, Tomorrow--you may have whatever you like, but today I'm going to remember that I am perfectly capable of self-control.

I think it's a good start. A nice moderate beginning. To be real, it's all about a collection of days, so if half of my days are very good, then that's better than nothing!

To end this perfectly lovely day, I'm watching Who's The Boss? But I'm kinda bored with it. I wish Cheers was on.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Plans Schmans

Happy St. Patrick's Day!! I wore green. I ate a shamrock shake. That was the gist of my celebration.

I need to work through something serious.

I moved out to Utah for two reasons. Both were incredibly legitimate reasons to leave a good job.

1) I wanted to pursue things with Chris. I knew I'd never really knew if things would work from across the country.
2) I found a PhD program that was perfect for me.

It has been difficult since coming back. Very difficult.

I stopped dating Chris about 2 weeks after arriving in Utah.
Finding a job has been difficult. I've had three jobs since coming back. I was never as grateful as I should have been for my position in DC.

Well, I've had a few months to see how things would pan out.

Chris married his ex-girlfriend last month.

And I just got word that I was NOT accepted into the PhD program.

So now I'm here.

Here's what I know:

It was not right to stay in Washington, DC. I knew that before I ever met Chris.

I feel like I gave my application all the time and effort that I possibly could. I went to parties, met with two professors, expressed my interest over and over. I played the game perfectly. I should have gotten into the program.

For some reason, unknown to me, that particularly program was not right for me. I would have wasted time and effort and it would have led to a path that was contrary to what it is I am supposed to do.

I feel secure in the knowledge that if it was right for me to pursue that PhD, I would have been accepted.

The same thoughts apply to Chris. I gave that relationship everything. Time, space, love, effort, etc. It didn't work out because he is not the man that God has in mind for me.

So after making my own choices, working hard and qualifying myself for those particular blessings, for reasons beyond my comprehension, Heavenly Father has gently denied me those blessings.

I know that it is because He has better things in store for me. I am content in that knowledge.

But I wish I had some direction as to where to place my efforts. I just want to put my shoulder to the wheel and push forward on this new and greater path.