Friday, April 27, 2012

Memory Lane

It's raining outside right now. I'm sitting here on my couch watching tv, and thinking that I never blog anymore... and thinking I should find some interesting picture to blog about...

So I found this picture. I'm 3, Jack's 2. My mom was 25. We're with my grandma is California. I am proud of how beautiful my mother and grandmother have always been. And I am proud of my 3 year old self for forcing myself to smile with my fingers. he he he. Silly little me. I kinda dig my fly red suit too.

Tonight I drove up to Tremonton and played pool with my brother Nick and my sister Kim. Kim brought my nephew Konner with and he shot pool for the first time while standing on a chair. We were all shooting pretty well! But it's hard to take the game seriously when the 4 year old is randomly knocking balls into the pockets!

So that's my update. And a picture. No cohesion whatsoever... but it's a post! Woot!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Not There

I want to write a book about my life.
But books are supposed to have happy endings.
And I'm not there.

At some point, you're supposed to reach your best self before you start the downward slope.

I feel like I'm sliding towards death. And I haven't yet reached the top of my mountain.

When I was younger, I created a picture in my mind of who I wanted to be when I was older.

This ain't it.

I don't know why I feel so inadequate right now. I am doing a lot of positive things.

I am hoping I'm suffering from some paranoid delusions, but I feel like my mom doesn't enjoy my company. It's a major bummer. When I was younger, we didn't spend much time with extended family, and I thought--when I'm older, we'll get together as a family. We'll have normal family get togethers. We'll have fun at birthdays like other regular families do.

When I moved back to Utah, I expected that I would enjoy family get togethers on a more regular basis.

Well, that's not happening. And I no longer have the "I live across the country" excuse.

I feel like a move to Bali is in order.