My body is a miracle. Ever since I wrote about women and flesh--I've realized that I needed to pay more respect to my body. Since then, a good friend recommended I read The Gabriel Method by Jon Gabriel. On April 20th, I started putting different things into practice. It took a month, but over that time, I've felt myself heal.
I used to have a raging sugar addiction. I remember the night when I said no to candy. It was difficult, but the strength from being next to a bag of candy all night long and not once having a piece--that was pretty spectacular. Not that I won't choose to have candy again--but it's the "needing" the candy that I don't want. I want to choose to savor a piece because that is my choice.
Food has been my enemy. I get frustrated with it. It doesn't make me happy.
Now--I LOVE food!
Last night, I sat down and had grilled Salmon and yellow squash and read about the benefits of summer squash. I read about the fiber, the vitamin A, C, and beta carotene as I enjoyed the flavor of the squash and the salmon. It was a joy to eat. I enjoyed shopping for food last night and filled my cart with fruits, vegetables of all colors.
I don't even know how I got to this place. It's just every day, cravings went away. Little by little. My body feels incredibly healthy. I feel I have more energy than I've had in ages.
You read in the book not to weigh yourself for 6 months because the body takes time. You lose, then plateau. But I wanted to anyway. At first, I dropped 12 pounds in a week. Then back up 5. (That was discouraging.) And then it just kind of held on for a while. I finally hid the scale from myself. Despite what the scale said--I could feel my body getting healthier. I felt lighter. I felt stronger. It didn't matter what the scale said. I had gone from wanting to eat at least two candy bars and three bags of candy a day to no sugar at all. Who cares if I lost any weight? I hadn't been to McDonald's in almost a month!
Sunday night, I was lugging a gallon of water into my room. I had decided to carry around a gallon of water to make sure I drank the whole thing throughout the day. I placed it on my night stand and thought about how it was so heavy. I decided I wanted to weigh it! But I didn't want the temptation to weigh myself. I fell asleep instead.
Last night, I couldn't resist the temptation to pull out the scale. I wanted to weigh that bottle.
I just thought--if I've lost one of these bottles of water in weight from my body--what a relief to my skeleton! I weighed the bottle. It was over 11 pounds.
Then I stepped on the scale. Since April 20th, I've lost 18 pounds!
It's a great start! I've lost more than a gallon of weight! I feel really good. More than the weight, I've lost the cravings. And I've gained a really nice relationship with food.
I feel spectacular.
Everybody has to do things in their own way and in their own time. The exciting thing is--I find myself adding a healthy new habit every day--which makes it fun. I created a meditation for myself to listen to as I drive so that driving can be a way of destressing. I have started stretching every day at work to oxygenate my muscles. I'm just adding little things to help find happiness in getting healthier.
I understand why they say not to look at the scale--it's because the inner changes matter more than whether the scale reflects those changes--but it was nice to see that things are working.