Thursday, February 28, 2013

A Great Day

Today is February 28, 2013.

1 year ago today,  we had just closed the show To Kill a Mockingbird. 

  Our very own Dill, Scout, and Jem. So talented! 

5 years ago today, I was performing with Maryland Shakespeare Festival in Wild and Whirling Words directed by Megan McDonough.

10 years ago today,  I worked here:

This is Overland Sheepskin's national headquarters in Fairfield, IA. I did internet sales and worked in the showroom. 


22 years ago today, my mom married Brent and I got three new siblings.

 Feb 28th is a really happy day for me and for my family.

I love Kim, Kelli and Jayson. I am so happy that we were able to grow up together.

More than that, for the past 22 years, I have watched Brent love and care for my mother.

I am so grateful that my mother married such a wonderful man.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

What Have You Become?

There's a skit on Saturday Night Live that I actually really like right now.

I like it because it is horribly well timed for my generation/age/predicament.

It's called, What Have You Become? You can view it here:

In the game, each of the contestants are smiling about their average to mediocre lives. Then the host asks the question, "What have you become?" And they fall a part...

And it is funny.

It makes me laugh.

It is so depressing.... SO hilariously depressing!

What did I want to be when I was growing up?

I wanted to be a dancer, an author (that's what I wrote on my first grade project), a singer, an actor...

I watched a news show last night about inviting girls to join the world of technology. I wish I had wanted to be a computer programmer.

I thought about being a doctor, but I hate bodily fluids.

I thought about being a psychologist, but I have enough psychodrama in my life.

As an LDS girl, you're taught to always have your head in two places--get a good education, but remember that your priority is to raise a family. I feel like I've mastered having two priorities in my life. It's a skill that has served me well. I often have two different sets of goals. In DC, I was often teaching for the university and working on a new project as a director or producer. In Utah, I'm managing the storage facility, while working on a theatrical project in the evening.

I kind of like that I have this skill. I used to resent that I was taught to develop two different sets of priorities, but I honestly can't imagine a life where I only have one job.

Even in college, I always had a job and school. If a show came up, I would quit the job and do the show and school--but there was always a split focus.

What have I become? I have become a woman who is good at doing two things at once.

I want to become a person who makes the most of my time on earth. I want to become  a person who authored a book, a singer, a cheap substitute for a psychologist for friends willing to share, a caregiver for those seeking a compassionate bandaidputteroner, a dancing fool, and a person who types up programs on my computer. Ha! I can be anything I wanna be! And instead of paying me to DO it, I'll have people paying me to STOP! "Ma'am, please stop dancing in front of me and my wife here in the park, we're trying to have a discussion about the proper pronunciation of Proust."  Whatever! Gimme a dollar!

Today I am grateful for 24 hours in the day that allow me to be whatever the hell I wanna be today! 

What have I become? I have become a person who likes to play candy crush on Facebook even though all of her friends have surpassed her because she can't beat the stupid level that she is currently on. For now.... To be continued!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Feeling The Blue

This is picture of the sky over the Potomac River. 

This is a picture of the sky near my childhood home in Tremonton. 

I took this photo when I was flying somewhere. 

This is a picture of the sky reflected in the Great Salt Lake.

This is a picture of Nick when we went to Moab a couple years ago. 

This is a harbor in Sandusky, Ohio.

This is what the world has looked like too often lately. 

What is missing?

I'll tell you!


My favorite color. 

I have missed the blue. 

This is a picture of the sky outside the front door at work. 

It's BLUE!

Today I am grateful for a beautiful blue sky.

Monday, February 25, 2013


On Saturday, with the blizzarding that was happening around me, I asked an older homeless couple if they would mind helping me clean up one of the floors in the storage facility. They were happy for the work that would help preserve them from the cold. I was grateful that I didn't have to leave my desk to spend a couple hours cleaning the 4th floor! It's hard to be at your desk helping customers, answering phones, and on the 4th floor cleaning.

This morning I learned an unexpected benefit of this. The wife came into the office holding her boots and talked about how she wanted to avoid messing up the floors with the mud. I gave her some wipes to clean the mud up. Because she had invested time on the cleanliness of the building, she took pride and care to make sure not to track in mud today.


I have been thinking about the Law of Attraction or the idea that "like attracts like". I believe that while there is some merit to positive thinking, there is an inherent fear attached to this ideology. Or rather, a misinterpretation.

Someone used the term last week to talk about setting a tone for business by attracting the right kinds of clientele. Like attracts like.

I thought of my homeless customers. I began to fear that perhaps I was attracting the wrong kinds of clientele. Then I thought about how we divide ourselves in our lives. We are divided into classes, races, cultures, hobbies, priorities, families, singles, educated, uneducated, families, friends, work colleagues. Like attracts like. If like attracts like, what does it say about me if I spend my day with homeless people, my night's with my roommate who enjoys herbs (if ya catch my drift... ;), my Sundays at church, my weekends at the theatre? What am I attracting? Would I experience more financial success if I chose to spend more time with rich people?

I wonder if this philosophy encourages us to fear those with less, those who live differently than we might choose.

Yesterday at church, I sat on the stand preparing to sing with the choir. There were about 650 people gathered together. Everyone from all walks of life, education, classes and as rare as it is in Utah, from different races. All gathered together to worship. Like attracts like.

I thought about the people that Jesus chose to spend his life with.

I wondered if he lived with the "like attracts like" philosophy. Perhaps. Perhaps he preferred those who understood to those who possessed.

I think it is worth noting that what the Savior chose to attract into his life might not be the same kinds of things today's self help gurus might want to attract.

Honesty, sincerity, love.

But perhaps everyone he was with had fatal flaws that had the power to bring him down to despair. Perhaps he chose to spend his days with horrid people who were mean and judgmental and rude. What then?


About ten years ago, I had a natal birth reading performed where I was told my future by a man from India. He interpreted gifts I had received by virtue of being born under certain stars. He mentioned some wonderful gifts and his words were encouraging to me. But he started with a phrase that has stuck with me, "With the grace of God, you can change your stars!"

I thought of a scripture found in the Book of Mormon, Mosiah 3:19 For the anatural bman is an cenemy to God, and has been from the dfall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he eyields to the enticings of the Holy fSpirit, and gputteth off the hnatural man and becometh a isaint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a jchild, ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. (I apologize for not removing the footnotes as given in the online version of the scriptures.... too much work.)

The natural man. The person we were born to be according to the alignment of heaven and earth, the parents we were born to, the people we spend our days and nights with...

Unless we become a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord.

Through the grace of God, we become the light. We are not dragged down by our surroundings, but rather we are the light in the darkness. We outshine all other influences. Like attracts like, but with God's grace, we outshine all other influences and undo all other elements.

Missionaries, peace corp volunteers, priests, rabbis, reverends, nuns--all bring their love and their light into poor, dark places and they shine. They illuminate the love of God and they introduce elements of charity, love, forgiveness, and grace to people who might be without.

Or rather, they discover pockets of glorious people who perhaps have nothing but charity and truth to offer one another. And they are all edified together.


While it might be wonderful to cut out magazine pictures of Jaguars and large mansions, I believe there is merit to identifying what the world's most powerful teachers, prophets, and even the Savior, chose to attract.

My life is so blessed.  I spend my days among people who prioritize love, art, kindness, compassion, truth, laughter, family, and joy.

I bring the light I have with me, but my light is compounded by the empathy and compassion of my dear herb loving roommate. My light is expanded by the support and love I find among my friends at the theatre. My light is enriched by my friends and customers at work. And at church, I have opportunity to be fellow citizens with the saints of God, encouraged by the good word of God. 


 I could tie things back to the first story I shared, but Yann Martel didn't bother to in his book Life of Pi, so I figure I'm not going to either. Besides, anything I say at this point would be didactic or self-congratulatory. 

Today, I am grateful for the Law of Attraction and for the blessings that I attract everyday through my experiences with good people.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

What A Wonderful World

Apparently Mercury is in retrograde which is apparently a reason for feeling discouraged.

I spent the day at work watching the snow start and stop all day long. For a minute, I thought I might be stuck at work for the night because the snow flew so hard and fast.

Today's post is going to be in reaction to these elements.

I want pretty things today.

So here are some beautiful pictures to enjoy.


Today I am grateful for the ocean, the flowers, the mountains, the sunset, the trees, and the sunrise. 

Friday, February 22, 2013

A Disturbance in the Force

Today I feel like poo.

There is a fire alarm that is beeping at me incessantly. I press silence. 5 minutes later it beeps again. I get up. Press a button. 5 minutes later it beeps again.

This has been going on all day.

I spent the morning watching security footage to see what was going on. Do you know how boring it is to watch security footage? So. Boring. I realize now that becoming a detective is not my calling anymore because after so long--I no longer care to solve the mystery that I need to solve.

I am in a foul mood.

I am tired.

And I am super pissy today.

Here's a gospel according to Eve sentiment.

When people make "mistakes" it is for one of two reasons:
1) Ignorance
2) Malice

In my opinion, I would prefer to keep company with people who own their propensity for malice, rather than feigning constant ignorance.

In other words, I'd rather be wicked than dumb.

Of course, with a name like Eve, did you really expect anything else? 

End of lecture.

Today I am grateful for my smart friends who can own their mistakes.

For those of you who are with Angie Perry's family today--please give my condolences. I haven't seen her since high school, but it just feels like there's a disturbance in the force. Perhaps that's why I feel so icky. It just feels so tragic. She is a beautiful person and I wish her family and friends comfort and some measure of peace.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

My Day On

I'm grateful! I promise!!

And I'm so tired today.


Today was my day off.  And it was a busy little day.

First thing this morning. I read plays for a 24 Hour Ten Minute Play Writing Festival in Korea. My friend Jackie Wilson asked me to judge. There was some good stuff to read. I was really impressed.

Then I went to my favorite naturopath to get some healing goin' on. After visiting the doc, I managed to clean the kitchen, go grocery shopping, do laundry, and vacuum.

Then I enjoyed a tasty dinner of grilled chicken wings with some wonderful friends.

And now I'm enjoying Project Runway.

I am officially done with this day.

Today I am grateful that I am officially done with this day.

And for wonderful friends who feed me tasty chicken wings.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013


A long time ago, I used to take head shots.

It is a privilege to reveal beauty in photographs.

I can't help it. It is there. And I like to take pictures of it.

I am in a state of dilemma about my own beauty.

It renders me complacent.

I am pretty whether I am skinny or fat. And I know it. I feel it. I feel beautiful even when I am horribly overweight.

My friends see beyond my weight and enjoy my company, but I know that they worry about my health.

They also know that I'm happy and they appreciate what I bring into the room.

My friends know me. We spend time together and they see who I am illuminated in my eyes and my laughter, my kindness and the way I care for them.

I recently found out that certain members of my family that I haven't even seen for at least a year--wanted to hold an intervention to talk to me about my burgeoning weight. They believe I need help.

Perhaps I do.

Perhaps from their distant place--they are not blinded by the beauty I possess. They are not placated as I am by the happiness I carry, regardless of my weight. This distance allows them to see my flaws in a clearer light.

I am trying though. I want to find a better way. I am reading the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole.

In it, she speaks of the harm of dieting and advises readers to learn to listen to their bodies. The body will crave what it cannot have. In order to give up the cravings, you have to believe that you're allowed the food. I don't know what to do anymore though. I have allowed myself to say yes. I have stopped dieting. And I weigh more than I ever have.

But I'm not really listening to my body. I am reacting. Bingeing because I can. Bingeing in one giant never ending last supper before the inevitable diet to end all diets. The idea that I will one day have to give up my favorite foods still hovers in my mind. And it makes everything that I don't need seem so good.

I am trying to process this discovery of the impending intervention. I want to look at it with a mind to my own health. I don't want to react or rebel.

I want losing weight to be like dyeing the tips of my hair pink. Something fun and new that doesn't change who I am--but simply alters my appearance and brings a little more vibrancy to my life. I am so happy that I dyed my hair pink! How fun! It doesn't change who I am.

Changing my eating will simply have to be because healthy food is delicious and vibrant. If my body shape changes--then it changes. But it doesn't add to or detract from the beauty I already possess. My beauty is anchored in my soul and my soul is eternal and effervescent. I am beautiful.

Today I am thankful for those who want to help and for the presence of mind to not be undone by them.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Happy Little Secrets

Last night I saw Melissa Leilani Larson's award winning play,

Happy Little Secrets

at Provo's Echo Theatre.

The show is only running for three more shows.

If you haven't seen it, make it a priority.

Have you ever sat in a church meeting and found yourself just caught up in the speaker's words? So much so, that you allowed yourself to observe how caught up you felt? And in that moment, you realized that it was because the person speaking was also caught in a trance of thought--the kind of trance that only comes when a person is speaking heavy truth. The kind of truth that doesn't allow for an ounce of pretension or interpretation. We generally don't notice how riveting truth is. We often only notice the absence of the genuine. Say someone gets up to share their thoughts on God and they kind of shift uncomfortably, smile, and begin to talk about their life, making sure to list their best qualities. Their insincerity in such a forum is grating. I remember one woman got up in a singles ward and talked about how she liked to place laminated scriptures in her shower so she could read the word of God every morning. Needless to say, her words were heavy with nothing but a desire to show off. It is what it is. If you've had the experience of being carried away in the truth of a heartfelt testimony, it can be grating when someone is less than authentic.

Sometimes I'll go and see a play and I count myself lucky if I am carried away in two, maybe three moments.

Little Happy Secrets is heavy with truth. I felt like my soul was floating. I could see the leading lady, Jessica Myer, glowing in front of me. She was golden and this aura dazzled around her face. She was playing a part, but the words were so heavy with truth, they carried the audience away--or rather--further into the moment.

In this place of truth, my heart filled and tears began to just fall down my face.

It was a small theatre and I didn't want to distract. But the tears kept coming. Not bad tears, just an overflowing heart.

I used my sweater to wipe my neck, my cheeks, my nose, my eyes.

And then again.

If you haven't seen it yet.... go.

Today I am grateful for Melissa Leilani Larson. She wrote a beautiful play.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Back At Work

I'm back at work! It's been a busy day. I love this job.

I finally got some of the pics loaded from the trip.

Here are some memories.

Peyton and his fabulous legos. He showed me his Titanic ship made out of legos! We also had a blast playing the piano. He is learning the theme music from old school Mario Bros. This kid is incredible!

Michael schooled me in the game of Life--after I trounced the unsuspecting 5 year old at Monopoly in the strangest game ever. I kept landing on Free Parking and he kept going to jail. It was hilarious.

And here's William with his babydoll. He named him Baby. He will be such a good daddy! He kept saying, "I love you Aunt Evey!" This made my heart melt. I am currently still a bit of a puddle.

I am so grateful for these boys. They make me laugh and today I am grateful for pictures.

Sunday in the Utah with Friends

Today started with breakfast with my dear friend Joe. So tasty and good company!

Church was wonderful. Good talks.

I get to play the piano in relief society on a beautiful grand piano. I played my favorite songs during the prelude and postlude.

After church, a little girl saw me and wouldn't stop staring. Her mother came over and said that her daughter thought I was a princess. I was wearing a sparkly shirt, pink hair, and red lips. I didn't realize I was doing anything particular--but as I saw the girl gaping at me, I realized I was dressed in a little girl's fantasy outfit. At 35... how scandalous!

This was me today:


This evening, I went to visit dear Nancy. I would really like to post a picture of her that I took this past May... but I think I better respect her privacy. Suffice it to say, she's a beautiful woman. 

It was a beautiful visit. We watched this!

All while knitting and crocheting. 

We laughed and sighed and gasped and laughed. 

I am in awe of Nancy. She is a splendid person. I am so happy she is my acquaintance!  

Today, I am grateful for grand pianos, Joe, Doctor Who and River Song, and Nancy. Oh! And being able to wear sparkly shirts, red lips, and pink hair! 


Saturday, February 16, 2013

Robin and Love and and and....

This is Michael. 

And me. 

I have so many pictures to post!! But I just got in from Iowa and I have no desire to post pictures tonight. So I'm just gonna post this pic from my computer.

This goal of blogging everyday.... 

I am not doing so hot this week. 

But yesterday it was so wonderful to just sit and crochet while watching Downton Abby with Robin. 

I love my life. 


I just spent a week playing with three cutie pie little boys and sharing amazing spiritual and intellectual and funny conversations with one of the most amazing women I have ever met. 

I remember meeting Robin at church back in 2003. Ten years ago. 

I remember that we went to Walmart and she saw grocery carts left out. So she spent the next five minutes putting the carts away. I remember spiritual conversations in her little apartment with our friends. She just has a way of making everyone feel like they can be better. 

Robin and Carl have an amazing love story.  Carl is usually home during the day with the youngest, then Robin comes home and he heads off to teach/take classes. When it comes to potty training--he's the main guru and has been for all three of the boys. As a Valentine's Day gift, Robin decided to try and get little William potty trained so that Carl wouldn't have too worry about it.

This is love people.

Yesterday she coached William through a particularly tough poop.
Cause that's love folks!
I wish we lived in the same state. But I kinda like being able to spend a week with Robin every year. 

Someday I will have a love like this. The kind of love where two people partner to create an amazing life together.  It's going to be soooo much fun!!!!

I am so grateful for Robin. And Carl. And the three little princes. 

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Day in Iowa City

How do I adequately describe today? hmmmmm

I'm going to make a list of things we did today.

1) Wrapped and made 24 Valentine's Day mailboxes for Michael's kindergarten class.
2) Helped kindergartners decorate.
3) Sat in a random circle and let random little 5 year olds read with me.
4) During a 1 hour period: We went to the grocery store, ate lunch, made two powdered sugar bags worth of sugar cookie frosting, confirmed reservations for dinner, and had a fifteen minute break.
5) Decorated sugar cookies with 3rd and 4th graders, did a relay race with conversation hearts, and then taught the kiddos how to play statues.
6) Dyed Robin's hair. (I dyed mine last night.... See above picture for proof.)
7) Decorated more sugar cookies with all the boys.
8) Enjoyed a romantic dinner in downtown Iowa City at Atlas with my three favorite valentines.
9) Read stories to the boys, put them to bed, and now I'm trying to put this day into a few words so that I can attempt to remember this fabulous day in the future.

Today I am grateful for cute kids, frosting, Robin's awesome idea to dye the hair, and the ever beautiful Iowa City. (They have sweaters on the trees people.... This is a great city.)

My Kinfolk

Last night I saw my dad and my brother. We spent the evening together.

At one point, we sat in the closed deli at the Hyvee grocery store.

To recount our conversations would reveal our insanity.

At one point, Matt made Dad tell everyone that he was a pretty princess.  Dad asked me if I wanted to be a mother. I said yes. He pretended to weep to the heavens for joy. And all of us shared our latest theatrical adventures.  One of our revelatory moments: we all agreed that we must sustain our intuitive friends and that the present trumps the future and the past.

I volunteered to ride in the back of my dad's red pick up truck to enjoy the beautiful night sky.  The wind whipped in my face.

I am grateful for my dad and my brother. I love them both so much and I am glad I got to spend time with them both.

I am grateful for the beauty of each moment. I keep coming back to the scripture about Charity.  Love truly does perfect each experience.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

The Land of Yarnia

I get to crochet with the ultimate grand master of the yarn...

You may have heard of her...

Robin the Super Duper Great Master of the Yarn.

This is her official title. 

This is what she is currently crocheting--to give to me!!

And this is the yarn I'm going to use in the blanket I'm about to make!

A little bored with the post about yarn, eh? Not completely riveted with the proclamation of the colors I shall use in my newest project? Tsk tsk.

Clearly, you've never found the meditative joy of crocheting.  The repetition. The trance. The softness. The detail.

It is beautiful. I love the feeling of taking random string and weaving it into a beautiful fabric. 

I wish I was as good as Robin is at weaving patterns, but I'm learning. 

Today, I'm grateful for Robin, learning new hobbies, and soft beautiful yarn. 

Monday, February 11, 2013

Planes, Trains and Odd Little Boys

"Five minutes to Uda!"
"Mama, you don't have a weenie but you have a belly button!"
"Five minutes to Uda!"
"Aunt Evey, you have a weenie?"
"I love you Aunt Evey!"
"Five minutes to Uda!"
"Math homework."
"brrrrrrr. Aaaaaaaah dooo doo do do."
"I have a weenie."
"Peyton has a weenie, Michael has a weenie. I have my weenie."
(repeat above several times)

William is sitting in his toddler bed a few feet away. He is my favorite three year old and these are the things he has said during the past five minutes.

I don't know who Uda is.

I'm in Iowa visiting my favorite three little boys and my dearest friend Robin who is sitting on the couch next to me crocheting me a beautiful afghan.

Oh! And there's a pretty bunny rabbit sitting at my feet.

I'm in heaven.

Today I'm grateful for airplanes, my beautiful friend Lyn for taking me to the airport at the buttcrack of dawn, and Carl for deciding to go to a conference in New Mexico and having the wonderful idea to fly me out to this beautiful state of Iowa so I could enjoy a week of funny sayings, reading story books, singing songs, and whatever other madness we come up with! 

The Grammys

I'm watching The Grammy Awards right now.

I think this might be the best grammys I've ever watched.

I also think it's the first time I've watched the show in a few years.

Justin Timberlake said the same thing. I was thinking back to the days of Britney and Justin and the horrible state of music during that time. (Justin Timberlake, of course, being the exception.)

Now, I haven't seen American Idol in years because it got boring, but I really believe that the popularity of American Idol is the reason why music is where it's at today. (Wait wait! Hear me out!)

When Kelly Clarkson first won, there was this looming question of whether or not she was pretty enough to be a musical icon.

Tonight, she was radiant with talent singing Carole King.

Through American Idol, Americans showed the suits that ran the record companies--I say ran because the music industry is completely on its head right now--that TALENT reigns above all else. We endured shallow voices that looked great on MTV and then.... yea.

But tonight... everyone flaunted their age, their flaws, their flab, their lines, their scraggly hair--all because who gives a crap! Jack White's band was spectacular and raw!

One of my favorite bands of the year, Alabama Shakes! vibrates with energy and life. And it ain't pretty.  Fun. played in the rain for pete's sake!

For those of you still stuck in the 80s.... pick up some new music. Or better yet, listen to a radio station on Spotify and enjoy the amazing new bands out there today. The 80s were great, but listening to 80s music today is tantamount to Sarah Jessica Parker's dad enjoying the hits of the 50s in the old movie Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. 

Now that I've completely stuck my musical nose up in the air.....

In other music news...

Today I got to sing my favorite winter hymn with two incredible vocalists--Larissa Villers and Megan Smyth. What a privilege. It was such a joy to share this music with the congregation today. I am so happy.

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to make music and all the unabashed, beautiful, ugly, raw, powerful and inspiring music makers in the world today.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Sharing Time

Asking people to come see a show you're involved in is sort of like sharing your religion.

You don't want to seem too eager or too desperate...

But you just love it soooo much!

And you want people to know that you respect that they have wonderful lives that are busy and filled with all of their wonderful commitments and relationships...

But you just love it sooooo much!

Moving past the religious analogy... because I don't want to be accused of some sort of blasphemy...

I love You're a Good Man Charlie Brown.... much like I have come to love every show I work on.

I have been reading all over the interwebs about friends who are producing and playing in great shows nationwide. Friends from graduate school and college, from Iowa to Michigan, to California to North Carolina to Virginia... The interwebs are abuzz with love for upcoming productions.

Sometimes I feel like a beggar, begging for a crowd. You bleed, sweat, and cry--but if no one comes to the show--it's for naught.

It's such a funny thing to beg for too.

"Here! We have put together a piece of live storytelling where we hope to enrich your life and make you think/smile/love/cry/muse/fight/soar...... We hope you like it!"

I need my dear dear friends who don't come to my shows to understand that I tell you about these shows because I am simply offering a gift. I am okay if you can't make it.  I love it when you can come, but I don't want to reduce the gift by feeling bugged when people can't make it. Heaven knows, I am not great at making it to other people's shows. But I am definitely coming to see Melissa Leilani Larson's production of Happy Little Secrets when I get back into town!

From this distance, I want to wish all of my friends and loved ones who are doing shows this weekend a happy night of art and magic making! You are in my heart.

Today I am grateful to be able to share the show with so many wonderful friends. Thank you! 

Friday, February 8, 2013

The Magical Box

I dropped my mom off at the airport early this morning.

She told me she loved me in the sweetest way that made my heart flutter.

I drove over to the office and started work a good hour early.

I finished up my to do list by about ten.

Then things got busy.

But during the in between times, I watched tv on the vast interwebs.

Oh the magical box with it's pretty little pictures!

Today I am grateful for television!

Charity, the Bond of Perfectness and Peace

We sat at the back of this large hall filled with women. The ladies were all different ages, with varying histories. One woman talked about a trip to Antarctica. I'm sure there were other women there like me who would never have the money to go to Antarctica. Bonnie Parkin taught from the front of the hall and chirped, "On your tootsies!" anytime anyone made a comment.

The topic was charity, the pure love of Christ.

We were admonished to receive it and then share it. We all talked about ways we had felt the love of Christ. My little grandma sat next to me just enjoying it. She is such a powerhouse of a woman, but in that room of busy women, she seemed so diminutive.

At one moment, she gave me a look of gratitude that made my heart swell. I swallowed the tears and just enjoyed the opportunity to share in being a part of a worldwide sisterhood with my dear little grandma.

That afternoon, my friend Christie came over and we laughed and cried together over the trials of the last month or so. I met her randomly in the lobby at church three years ago and she quickly became a lifelong friend.

My mom is staying with me tonight so she doesn't have to drive too far in the snow tomorrow morning to catch her flight to Atlanta. We shared some great laughs and now she's sound asleep.

Doctrine and Covenants 88: 125 And above all things, clothe yourselves with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace.

Somehow in this very full day, I managed to get laundry done, do the dishes and run sound for Charlie Brown. I am exhausted. I am loopy!

Today I had so many opportunities to choose charity--either to receive it or share it--and I am grateful for the perfect peace that I feel as I slam my head into my pillow. Whatever I have left to do, whatever I flaws I carry with me into tomorrow, in this moment, I am perfect. And I shall sleep like the dead.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013


I had this thought the other day to check on the times for a class taught by some inspiring women leaders in my church on Thursday mornings...

And today my grandma called and told me she's feeling better and restless.

Immediately, I knew that I need to take her to the class. Or she needs to take me to the class. Sometimes I don't always do things for me. Sometimes, I only do good things if it's going to be for someone else. So this is one way that God can get me to go to an inspiring class taught by wonderful women.

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend and I randomly decided to share this thought that was completely off topic. Apparently that random thought provided a much sought after answer to a prayer. I was so touched as she thanked me for the answer.

I am so utterly flawed.

So. flawed.

But for some reason the Lord still sees fit to bless me and to use me as a means to bless others.

Today I am grateful for the blessings of God that continually bring light to my life.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Silver Linings

I love this movie. 

I have avoided writing too much about this because I didn't want to influence friends' experiences with this movie, but my friend Carlos posted this video on his facebook page today. 

I watched all 7 minutes.

And I cried. 

One of my favorite moments in the interview is when the director, David O. Russell talks about why he chose to tell this story. He says:

"I have a son who has mood disorder....a son who at times when he was ten, eleven years old, told me that life was so hard that he didn't know if he wanted to keep going. I would do anything for him, and so I wanted a story that would help me feel like he's part of the world... It had romance and all this enchantment. Without the enchantment, you can't make it through the hard times."

"My son has grown my heart five times....I just want him to be happy and enjoy his life."

I love this movie. 

Today I am grateful for artists who love and who share their love with us in these intimate creations that teach us how to love and inspire us to allow our hearts to grow right along with theirs. 

I know many of you won't see this because it is rated R. 

I respect that.
But if you are a person who will sometimes choose to make an exception for a good movie...
This is that movie. 

Monday, February 4, 2013


I imagine you saw this commercial yesterday.

When I was 13, my mom married my step-dad Brent and we moved to the Bear River Valley.

Brent grew up a farmer, his dad died in a farming accident at 80.His brothers still farm the family farm.

And I spent my teenage years in this enchanting valley.

This is my home.

Today I'm grateful for the beautiful Bear River Valley. 

February Goal

My resolution for the entire year is to post something I'm grateful for everyday.

Now, if I'm in the middle of having a happy day, I'm not about to stop in order to post a blog. But I generally have time to post something reflective. 

I have missed two days so far. Jan 26th and yesterday.

So today I'm going to post twice. 

I'm really happy with this goal. I have been able to keep it and I've enjoyed focusing on just one goal instead of several. But I want to continue growing. So I've decided to allow myself to add a new goal every month. 

I have decided in this cold dry winter, that it is important that I drink enough water. 

The amount of water a person drinks is based on their body weight, etc. I have a lot of weight in my spectacular body. So I will need to drink more water than someone else. This is not a recommendation for others--BUT--I'm going to drink one gallon of water every day for the month of February. 

That's my goal for February. 

Today, I'm grateful for water. 

And a running toilet. 

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Happiness Is...

Morning without an alarm.

Plenty of sleep.

A warm bath with luxurious salts, oils, and candles.

Plenty of time to run errands.

A matinee with bunches of little kids in the audience.

And my dear friend Ruth and her beautiful cherubs. 

A fun dinner with the cast and crew.

Right now, I'm sitting in the soundbooth playing my favorite songs across the theatre's big sound system while the cast plays Outburst on the stage.

They're so beautiful. They're all laughing together.

The whole theatre is just filled with joy.

And great music.

Today I am just grateful to be me.

I get to do another show... And then Quick Wits will play after the show.

And I MIGHT get to bed by 1 am.

The day swirls in and around me. So much to do!

But right now, there's this joyful moment where I get to just sit and reflect on my blessings.

Friday, February 1, 2013

My Mom

This is my mom. 

Well, this is her from 20 years ago. 

I just found a picture from Thanksgiving where she's wearing a pink striped shirt. She looks the same. It's ridiculous.

I would post it, but I took it when she was taking a bite of food and so it wouldn't be kosher to post it. 

I love how much my step-dad Brent adores my mother. They have a beautiful relationship. 

Last night, my mom came down to see You're a Good Man Charlie Brown

I love seeing my mom. 

I hope I can be like her someday. I want her discipline, her wisdom, her conviction, her long beautiful fingernails, her melodic laugh, and her beautiful smile. 

I also would love to have a relationship like the one she has with Brent. 


Today I am grateful for my mom.