Friday, May 16, 2014

My Private Spring

Yesterday, I met up with a friend I made about 3 years ago. We spent the afternoon sharing our thoughts and playing with her cute baby.

This week, my brother Matt turned 32. On Monday, Matt, Nick, and I all drove up into the mountains to look at the stars away from the city lights.  On Tuesday, we had breakfast for dinner.

Wednesday, I had friends come and visit from church. And then Michelle and I went to visit a couple of women from the church ourselves.

Last night, I went for a 20 minute walk in the early evening and listened to scriptures. The holy words in my ears, the sun shimmering on the trees, blood in my vessels, oxygen in my muscles.

And then I met up with 4 beautiful friends for frozen yogurt.

Monday night, I said no to McDonald's and ate almonds and strawberries instead.

Tuesday night, I said no to sausages and instead of eating candy, I ate an energy bar.

Every day I spend more and more of my time with happy, uplifting friends. Every day, I find it easier and easier to make better decisions.

When trying to decide what to do last night at 10pm, I decided to go to bed! How novel!

I don't know if anything has changed much on the outside, but on the inside, I feel clear. I feel strong. I feel invigorated. I feel like every day possesses its own magic.

I've been watching Call The Midwife all week. I fear it has touched the language in my brain. I cannot help but think in this strangely formal 1950s British speak.

I don't know whether there's any outward indication of a change. The scale hasn't budged. But inside I feel lighter.

Right now, I'm sitting at my computer watching a man try and fit a thousand pieces of furniture into a small storage unit. I'm waiting for impending crisis. I cannot imagine how this will work. It can't. Oh--they just came in to ask for a broom. My magical shimmer is starting to dwindle. I think shimmer is my word today.

So nothing too dramatic to report. Just little bits of changes that mean the world to me, but mean nothing to anyone else.

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