A Wedding Post

 We got married.

It was wonderful!

Getting married requires a community. And over and over again, the community surrounds you, lifts you up and supports you into this beautiful new station. It is a communal feast of love and support. I'm trying to hold on to that love in a little book so we can look back on it and read the words of love that we read on that day. 

We got married on a budget. 

A very small budget.

But we had so many friends support us and love us. 

The kitchen bustled with lovely friends, generously serving our guests. 

The cakes were gifted to us from friends and family members who made each cake lovingly from scratch. 

The flowers were assembled by a dear friend. 

The table runners were sewn by hand by my sweet maid of honor.

She also made all the bowties, kerchiefs, and skirts for the ladies.

She lovingly put together the quilt with her daughter, mother, and then we tied it with my loved ones at the Bridal Shower. 

Musical friends sang and played at the reception, donating their gifts to our guests. 

Family members and friends assembled tables and chairs, ironed tablecloths, and helped warm delicious food. 

A dear friend snapped photos for us all night long. 

Family members and friends visited from places as far away as the Upper Peninsula in Michigan and North Carolina. 

Loved ones filled our tables with beautiful cards and gifts. 

Grandmothers chased happy little boys. 

Friends washed dish after dish after dish. 

I can't even begin to know how to express my gratitude. I'm overwhelmed. 

We are overwhelmed. 

You loved us into a family.

This is the groundwork on which we will build our future. 

We stand on a foundation of love, kindness, generosity, and more love. 

Thank you. 

A New Tradition

Nick is home from Scotland! He was there working for the Scottish Parliament.

Last night, we gathered in Tremonton to enjoy a beautiful roast as a family. Jayson couldn't make it because he is treating his employees to a trip to Vegas, but the rest of us gathered around the kitchen table we ate at as kids and welcomed Antonio and Daniel to the family.

My mom put out the good china and we ate delicious food and shared stories.

My sister Kim's son Konner is 7 and Daniel is 6. As soon as they ate enough food to satisfy the adults, they ran downstairs to play with the toys and have adventures together!  It was so much fun to see the boys play together! The neighbor boys came over and joined them in the basement and Grandpa ran downstairs as soon as he could to join the boys. It felt so good to see little boys bouncing around the house again. We grew up with a house full of kids.

We all had such a good time that we agreed to start a tradition and have dinner together once a month. I'm so excited to be able to enjoy more time at home with my new family.

There's no place like home.

Learning How To Parent

Daniel is darling. He's so cuddly and cute and I could squeeze his little cheeks for days!

I've been working on keeping myself spiritually, mentally, and physically healthy so I can handle the stress of becoming a parent. I don't get the 9 months of prep and the fun times when they're a screaming baby. In two weeks, I'm going to have a kindergartener running around.

Yesterday was not a great day for Daniel. But I felt ready for it. Sort of. I had been listening to the scriptures and I heard Alma say a scripture that I remember marking while I was a missionary in Dallas.

Alma 31: 5 And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God.

This was what I was prepared with before Daniel came over. 

Antonio came to the office and asked if I could watch Daniel for a little bit while he went to visit with his daycare. I told him sure and asked what happened. Daniel pushed one kid and kicked another little girl in the head. So violent! Antonio went to find out what happened and talk with his teacher. Daniel settled in his little chair in the office and we set about writing an apology letter. 

This was not an easy task. He was hungry. He was itchy. He was guilty. 

And then a customer came in. Daniel helped me show her the unit she would choose. While we finished paperwork, I gave him two choices. He could work on his apology or he could color a Ninja Turtle. Sitting still long enough to get through the paperwork was more than he could handle. I shut his mouth with a protein bar. He was pleased. 

After helping the customers, we ran upstairs and made a snack. Salad for me. Apple and cheese and rice for Daniel. We ran back down stairs and he ate happily while I answered calls. 

After a bit, I told him to go play out in the front yard where I could watch him from the window. Antonio came home with a bag of take out and I watched him talk to Daniel. 

I ran out to see what he had discovered. Antonio empathized with Daniel's frustration. But no matter what led to the violence, violence is unacceptable. He took Daniel upstairs and the two of them finished the apology letter and Antonio explained why we wouldn't be setting up the video games. 

I smiled at how gentle Antonio was with Daniel. I finished the day off at the office and came upstairs to see a finished apology and two happy guys. 

I just couldn't figure out how to help Daniel see that his pushing and kicking had real consequences though. He isn't a bad kid--he just doesn't have the empathy to imagine how others feel. He's 6. But he needs to learn it in order to have a good social experience and in order to be a nice person. 

At about 8:30pm--he wet his pants. No reason. He wasn't playing video games. We were all just lounging around having a fun time. This has been an ongoing problem and Antonio is about at his wit's end. So I had Daniel get a towel and get it wet and rub the tiny little spot on the carpet where he had wet 100 times. It was hilariously excessive. He sat there slaving away repeating his numbers loudly. Antonio enjoyed calling him out when he missed 87 and the little boy went back and repeated 87. I sat there giggling, hoping that the suffering was enough to make him think twice next time he decided going to the bathroom wasn't a good idea.

Thinking back to the scripture I had read, I decided to experiment upon the promise. I grabbed the scriptures and we started the Book of Mormon as a family. Daniel, very reluctantly and obnoxiously, read the 1st verse. He repeated what I read in a high pitched voice and interrupted himself with fits of coughing that I realized were fake and his way of protesting. I called him on it immediately and he finished what I realize now is an incredibly long verse. We read to verse 4 where it introduces the word "repent". 

I asked Daniel what "repent" means. He didn't know. So I told him it was to apologize for doing something wrong and to promise not to do it again. We talked about what he had done wrong. We talked about his apology note and told him we were proud of him for apologizing. And then he promised not to do it again. 

I don't have any vain imaginings that this problem is over--but it was neat to see how we could immediately apply the scriptures with him and how the scriptures helped to support the lesson that we were trying to teach him. 

I'm not well read on childhood development. I don't know what a 6 year old is capable of when it comes to empathy. I don't know whether anything we're trying is making a difference. But I hope that little by little through consequences, talks, scripture reading, and lots of love we will raise a good man. 

One Day Closer to Healthy

I read in a book that fat people know more about dieting than anyone else.

So here's a fat girl telling you the latest weight loss strategy I'm utilizing.

But let me start at the beginning. Why do I want to lose some weight? Antonio loves me just the way I am. Even when I feel completely unattractive, he absolutely adores me.

Back in January, my mom and I went shopping for a wedding dress.

I tried on a few at David's Bridal. This was very fun. I looked spectacular! We figured with alterations and add ons, it was going to cost about $700.

And then we went and visited a lady in Bountiful who was selling her wedding dress. She was so sweet. She really just needed to get rid of the dress. We visited with her for a little bit and I tried on the dress. It didn't come close to fitting. But I bought it anyway. I just really felt like it was the right thing to do. She needed to see the dress go to a good home. It's weird I know. It was only $100 and the dress is really exactly what I want. Simple and elegant. No rhinestones, lace, or pearls. Just little flowers embroidered. I love it.

But it didn't fit.

I got to know a very generous seamstress who took out the dress as much as possible. After that, the dress zipped--which was a relief. But it was still sooo tight.

So last week, after making Daniel a chore chart--I made myself a chore chart.

On my chore chart, I wrote down chores that I don't do because it's just hard to get motivated to do them. I don't have to do them daily--but when I do, life is better. I feel better.

Here are some of my chores:
Make bed (I have done that one once this week...)
Drink 100 ounces of water with lemon
Walk Atticus (I usually go for one mile)
100 situps
50 pushups
100 leg lifts
Scriptures
Blog
Eat a salad
Don't eat after 8 pm
Put away clothes
Dishes
Vacuum
Take my multivitamin

Since last Wednesday, I've lost 9 pounds. It's probably water weight, but I feel better letting my digestive system fast for a good twelve hours between 8 and 8. My back feels stronger because I'm working my core. Drinking lots of water has helped me to avoid hunger. I feel no guilt eating delicious cake or casserole, as long as it's before 8. I just make sure I eat my big salad so that I have less cravings.

And that's it. Those are my chores.

I check off my little chore chart and I feel better.

I know there are a lot of diet programs out there. I know that people have a lot of reasons to lose weight. Experience teaches me that in a month, I'll need to add a new element and switch things up. Our bodies get used to the changes and the weight loss slows considerably. And so I'll try new things like adding yoga or running up to the street corner with Atticus. Little things.

It's the little things that make you one day closer to healthy.