Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I need to post, but my thoughts are very jumbled--and I want to give special weight to this post. During the last week, I've been filled with all sorts of emotions. First of all my little nephew was born. His name is Konner Jay. He was born on January 25th. From his pictures, he is a beautiful, healthy boy. And Kim looks like she is just fine.
My brother Nick has been waiting for one of us to have a baby for ages. He wanted a little brother or sister so badly, and my parents kept telling him that he'd just have to wait until he became an uncle. Unfortunately for Nick, we've all taken our sweet time about getting married and having children. We're all over 25, but at 28, Kim's finally taking the initiative to procreate. And for that--the rest of us are ever grateful.
Two days later, on my 30th birthday, President Hinckley passed away. I am always happy when a man of so many years, who has worked hard, earns a beautiful rest in heaven. I have no doubt about the existence of an afterlife, and so I joy in his passing. But at Saturday's funeral--I just cried. I certainly cried when my brother Jack passed away, but he was young--and I was filled with regret. But I also cried because I felt a true loss for what impact he would no longer have in my life.
I felt the same kind of loss at the funeral on Saturday. As pleased as I was to imagine him reunited with his wife--I wept for the loss of a kindred spirit. He studied English and Ancient Languages. He was a communicator. He loved words. He was a writer. And as I listened to the beautiful music chosen for his funeral--as I listened to his daughter speak as a representative of the family--I felt the loss of a true renaissance man. I felt the loss of a man whose leadership had encouraged men and women to reevaluate their own views of women within the church. I felt the loss of a leader who encouraged open communication and who encouraged church members to live a life of intelligence and hard work.
I could not stop crying as I listened to the words of one of my favorite songs, "My Shepherd Will Supply My Needs". And as we listened to the words of President Hinckley's own songs, I was again reminded of his many talents--and the way his exercising of these gifts gave a credibility to others with similar gifts.
This man worked his whole life in an effort to help build up the kingdom of God and to give service to those in need. My life isn't a walk in the park, but I can do more. I can be a better sister, a better aunt, a better friend.
I can do more. I need to do more. It certainly helps to forget your own petty problems--like not being able to go and see your brand new nephew.
The following are the words to "My Shepherd Will Supply My Need". The song has always meant the world to me, but I love it even more now.
My Shepherd will supply my need,
Jehovah is His name.
In pastures fresh He makes me fee,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wand’ring spirit back,
When I forsake His ways.
And leads me for His mercy’s sake
In paths of truth and grace.
When I walk through the shades of death
Thy presence is my stay.
One word of Thy supporting breath
Drives all my fears away.
Thy hand in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread.
My cup with blessings overflows,
Thine oil anoints my head.
The sure provisions of my God
Attend me all my days.
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise.
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come.
No more a stranger nor a guest,
But like a child at home.
Words: Isaac Watts / Music: American Folk Melody