Thursday, October 23, 2008

Doing Difficult Things for Yourself

I'm going through an interesting in phase in life.

I have become the sole manager of my time.

When I was a little kid, I stayed up late, if I could--but my mom wouldn't let me.

I love to sleep in, but I couldn't--because I always worked jobs that started at 8am.

I was never the source of my own self-control. I had obligations to other people that I needed to fulfill.

Now, I'm in this odd place in life where I 'm the one who decided what my obligations will be. I can stay up as late as I like because if I want to, I can stay in bed until 4pm. I don't teach class until 6pm.

There's a lot to be done though, and it is difficult to discipline yourself without outside constructs. Somedays I'm better at it than others.

Last night, I still stayed up until 2am watching House. I worked from 10am-11pm without much of a break. So, I am certainly justified in sleeping in today.

But, I am trying to give myself the same respect that I give to others. I will respect other's time constraints--but I won't take care of myself.

So today, I woke up at 8:30am. I am doing laundry. I am going to the temple. And I'm going to prepare my lecture for tonight. It takes A LOT of self-control to go to the temple when you could just as easily curl back into the sheets and enjoy some much needed rest.

I don't know what any of this means--but it's an odd paradigm shift for me. I think it will take some time to truly embrace self-control for my own sake. But, today's a start.


Miss Heather said...

I am the manager of my own time right now too... until I get a real job... and I'm HORRID at it! I just want to sleep and lounge around all the time. I guess that says a lot about my character... just plain LAZY!

Sunshine said...

During the summer I decided that I was done be fat and lazy so I began to wake up at 7:00 and I went riding. It was wonderful. For the life of me I can't even wake up at 8:00. Maybe it is because it is dark out, maybe not, but regardless I understand.

Self control... now that is the biggest lesson for me. I was in Sunday school when the teacher said something very profound, at least to me. If we put a harness on a very strong horse we can guide him to do things that will benefit us the most. If we can do that with our passions and desires just imagine how strong we can be. It was a beautiful thought for me.

Anyway..good ya bunches.