Right now. I'm feeling this weird emptiness that comes during the aftermath of an illness.
I use the word aftermath optimistically. It was a rough illness.
They say pain is forgettable. I remember it pretty clearly though. Constant, sharp, pain.
It overwhelmed me. It pushed me out of my comfort zone.
I like eating, a lot. I couldn't eat for a week, without pain.
Needless to say, I didn't eat a lot.
I read that the stomach will actually fold up on itself when it's completely empty. I'm still pretty uninspired by food in general.
You wanna lose weight? Give yourself shocking pain every time you take a bite of anything.
The fever is gone now, the fatigue is gone, the headaches are gone. The mouth pain persists. I'm excited to see how much weight I'll lose! So far, it's 20 pounds during the past week.
And for that, I am grateful.
I get to sing in church on Sunday for Christmas, and I'm going to look good in my dress!
There's a new show on TV called...
I love this show for a few reasons.
1) It shows that fat and skinny girls suffer from the same insecurities.
2) The stories show great behavior on the part of men. In one particular storyline, a guy that the main character is about to hook up with in a hotel room discovers she's never had sex before. Instead of taking advantage of her new adventurousness, he refrains and offers to take her out on a nice date later. It's pretty cool to see that kind of chivalry on television. So far, I've seen three awesome guys on this show.
3) It is hilarious and encouraging. The storylines and the characters. It makes me feel better about my life and the world in general.
Sunday, I was part of producing two big Christmas events--the Parley's 7th Ward Christmas Program and The Midvale Main Street Theatre Christmas Party. Being frightfully ill, I fell in my responsibilities.
At church, our fearless music leader, Stephanie, stepped up to the plate and translated an amazing story about "Silent Night". Our Choir Director played, conducted, and helped us present beautiful musical numbers for the ward. Our narrators were wonderful. And the congregation filled the tabernacle with their beautiful heartfelt voices.
At the theatre, I heard great things! I shirked. The technical guru Jennifer took over the event after I groggily passed info on all the performers onto her. It was a pretty horrible thing to do someone at the last moment. But, like most things at Midvale Main Street Theatre, it was an event filled with laughter, love, and generosity. Everyone who came brought money to donate to a needy family.
During the illness of all illnesses...
I have felt supported and loved.
On Friday morning, I felt my Heavenly Father's love come into my heart. I felt inspired with the thoughts that he had blessed certain friends to bring over specific remedies and that I would be given everything I needed to recover. And a package arrived from an old friend from elementary school. Another friend brought over herbs and oils. Other friends brought over gatorade and broth.
My dad came over Saturday and helped me wash all my clothes and blankets. He vacuumed and did all the dishes.
And I lost 20 pounds!
Best. Detox. Ever!
I have a lot to be grateful for this month.