For those of you who suffer from the ups and downs of depression--you get it. You know that you make it work on those days where you've got energy, because the energy will end and you'll crash.
This weekend--I crashed.
I crashed because I needed to. I can't help it. I go go go when I am going. If I could reel in the go a little--I probably wouldn't crash... but I am not always good at that.
We had a VERY busy weekend.
Friday night, Antonio's oldest son Jaxon came to visit. The boys were so excited to spend the night in their new room--that little boys who usually are asleep by 8:30pm were up until 11 pm.
It was hilarious how many tactics we used to try to get them to go to sleep. We tried putting them to sleep to Planet Earth on Netflix. We tried singing "Everything is Awesome" in the slowest possible way to lull them to sleep. We tried leaving them alone. We tried switching beds. We switched beds 4 times at least. We tried snacks, drinks, confessionals, snuggles, prayers, and story time.
We took shifts telling them to close their eyes and go to sleep.
Finally, at 10:30--I went into their room, sat on the floor with the big scriptures and read slowly, quietly, verse after verse. I knew that they wouldn't talk if I was in there. I was hoping they would float off to sleep. After reading for 15 minutes, I got up to leave. As soon as I turned the corner, I heard Jaxon's voice whisper, "Daniel!"
So I went back in and sat there until they finally konked out.
The next morning, Jaxon was up at 5:45am. He slept in!
Antonio works on Saturdays, so I was in charge of enjoying the morning with the boys. We took the dog out for a walk and went to a wedding! I took tons of pictures for my step-sister Michelle's wedding. The boys played well for about an hour--then we took off.
After a good lunch, Antonio came home and we went to the Library where we met authors and the boys favorite characters from books and video games. They were so excited to meet Link!
Then we played on the playground because I got claustrophobic.
Then we went to McDonald's and ate dinner while the boys continued to play on the playground there. God bless the McDonald's playground. And their little gogurts and apple slices.
After that, we came home and Grandma DeAnne was there to surprise us with some really fun treats and to visit with her grandsons.
That night, Daniel fell asleep very quickly.
Sunday we went to church as a family for the first time ever. That was wonderful. And hilarious. We're a liberal leaning family in a conservative religion. It's going to be interesting. But we believe in each other and we felt the kindness and the friendliness of the people at church. There were a couple of comments in relief society that I was very offended by--but I couldn't think of anything to say at the time. I thought of things yesterday. I decided yesterday to yell out F bombs the next time a woman starts to describe horrible violence in order to forward her political agenda. If she asks why I am trying to offend and horrify her, I'll just reply--"Oh I'm sorry! I thought that's what we were doing today."
The best part of church was seeing Daniel hug two of his teachers, and enjoying a wonderful discussion in Gospel Principles with kind people.
Sunday afternoon, we cooked a big meal and then I vegged out on frosted Mother's cookies for the rest of the day.
My ambition came to a grinding halt. I laid around playing video games, watching Harry Potter and being super duper lazy.
Monday morning, I awoke to the destruction that was Sunday's laziness.
I pulled myself up, poured Daniel a bowl of cereal and decided to take things 100 seconds at a time.
I just counted to 100. Whatever I could accomplish in 100 seconds would be enough.
During that first 100 seconds, I felt my energy and motivation returning. So I added another 100 seconds.
I thought about how I needed to teach Daniel about Memorial Day.
So I gathered him into the lounge chair and we looked at pictures of grandparents who had passed away while we listened to patriotic songs.
I showed him a picture of his grandma as a baby from a picture that Antonio had restored.
Me: "That's a picture of your grandma!"
Daniel: "Is she dead too?!!"
I realized my mistake in teaching him that Memorial Day was a time to remember those who died and then showing him a picture of his living grandmother.
He started to cry.
I assured him that she was alive. Later, we enjoyed a beautiful lunch with her in order to prove to Daniel that she was alive.
I showed him pictures of my Grandpa Jon who died flying the F104 in Germany in 1962. I told him that when I married his dad--that he gained a famous grandfather who flied jets and that he could tell his friends about his Great Grandpa Jon. Later, we went to visit Grandma JoAnn and he sweetly told her thank you for her husband's sacrifice.
We went to the Veteran's Memorial Park and he said a quiet thank you at each of the memorials to the different branches of the military. When we saw a veteran come to the memorial to pay his respects to his fallen friends, Daniel walked up and told him, "Thank you." He was a very nice man with a cute little boy who enjoyed petting Atticus.
After a busy morning, we went to Lagoon with my little brother Nick. We rode as many rides as we could. The place was so busy. The sunshine, the laughter, Daniel's crazy energy, and just enjoying the frantic and fun rides left me feeling exhilarated and full of energy.
After we left Lagoon, Nick and I met up with my dad John to watch Pitch Perfect 2, while Antonio brought a sleepy Daniel home and put him to bed.
And this morning, I'm at work. Utterly exhausted from a ridiculously long and full weekend.
Crikey. This blog was ridiculously long.
Note to self. Stop being so busy!!