Monday, March 8, 2010


Timing is a tricky thing.

All the bad things, all the time spent wondering why and when. All the experiences that helped me to understand people and trials. All the pain. All the sorrow. All the times I fell madly in love with a guy, only to have him say--I just don't feel the same. All the times I worked on relationships, and felt like I was doing everything right--only to discover that I wasn't enough. . .

It's hard to not resent years of pain. But right now, I can't even describe how happy I am that he broke my heart, that he found me wanting, that he didn't have the wherewithal to realize how great I am. I am so happy for the heartbreaks of yesterday.

Last year was an awful year. It was horrible. But this year, I decided that no matter what happens, I'm happy. I decided to put myself first and to blame only myself if I wasn't happy. And I've been really happy.

and now, I'm as happy as I have ever been.

Life is so stinking good!!


Melanie said...

Way to look at the bright side! Regardless of what happens, always appreciate that some hard things happen to get you to other good things. You have great perspective right now. I can't wait to see how this pans out.

Does he read your blog?

Alicia said...

Yay! I'm so happy too. I'm so happy that someone is finally seeing you for the bright, beautiful, radiant person that we all know you are. And yes, does he read your blog?

Eve said...

I'll let him know about it eventually, but right now--no way! If he does read it--none of this will surprise him any. I just want to keep this for me and my lovely friends. For the time being.

Crystal said...

You pocket-dialed me today and I was so happy you were calling, I said "hello" about 35 times in many tones, volumes, etc...

I know that feeling well. It is like the lyrics to the song I had printed on vellum and mounted over the photo I had of the temple on my sealing announcements...

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

Is it not the most-amazing thing to FEEL those words?!

Eve said...

oh drat! Crystal! I was actually calling you. I thought that you had hung up on me. Stupid bluetooth. I was in traffic so I couldn't look down and see the phone. Oh well! Let's chat soon!!