Thursday, June 12, 2008

Charity never faileth--and a good workout helps too!

After sleeping in, I forced myself out of the downward spiral I was headed towards.

It took everything in me to drag my sorry body to the gym after eating an entire package of cookie dough.

I changed up my workout routine because my foot is killing me. I went on the elliptical for 2 miles, then headed to do sit-ups. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through me. I was so angry at myself for becoming depressed. I kept going faster and faster in this effort to run away from the place I had been last night and this morning. I felt mainly motivated by anger, so I used it.

After doing sit-ups, I ran down to the pool and swam laps for 20 minutes.

It was a nice change in pace from the normal workout. I get angry that nothing seems to change--but I don't need to rebel against my lack by punishing myself.

I need to just push through the depression. I came home and was going to read in Mosiah where I had left off, but I felt compelled to read about Charity in 1 Corinthians. After teaching the lesson a couple weeks ago, I remembered the corrolation between Love and Know. This idea sunk in as I reread the verse: 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

Translation: For now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face: now I love in part; but then shall I love even as also I am loved.

It's so easy to forget how to truly love someone, to forget how to love someone when they're being a jerk. But God loves us entirely, and someday, He will bless us to be able to love others even as He loves us now.

I have to remember that this is what I'm striving for. I have to remember that life isn't about what I weigh or how much money I have--it's about how much I love myself and others.

1 comment:

Crystal said...

We are twins, my friend. So much alike that it is insane. A good workout always helps- you take pride in yourself and focus on you and realize that you are worth it in that time and then you feel so great about the accomplishment afterward that you swear off all cookie dough and read inspiring words... maybe because of the endorphins, maybe because you like yourself more, but regardless, it is a good thing.

I walk- that is about as cardio as I can get these days- but when I skip it, I realize it is a barometer of everything else in my life.

Also, Eve you CAN NOT let your heart get into the 190 range ever again. That is too much! You need to keep it low and elevated during the workout- that will burn fat, train your heart, and allow you to not dread going back so much.

What else... I am here all summer doing nothing, so... just let me know when you are free. I notice when I am good with God, I am good with me- I look better, I feel better, I act better... all because I am better. Suffice it to say, I pretty much hate me right now, so my plan is to get better and be good with God. It all falls into line (for me, at least) after that.

PS- Any word from Bonny/Mike?!