After sleeping in, I forced myself out of the downward spiral I was headed towards.
It took everything in me to drag my sorry body to the gym after eating an entire package of cookie dough.
I changed up my workout routine because my foot is killing me. I went on the elliptical for 2 miles, then headed to do sit-ups. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through me. I was so angry at myself for becoming depressed. I kept going faster and faster in this effort to run away from the place I had been last night and this morning. I felt mainly motivated by anger, so I used it.
After doing sit-ups, I ran down to the pool and swam laps for 20 minutes.
It was a nice change in pace from the normal workout. I get angry that nothing seems to change--but I don't need to rebel against my lack by punishing myself.
I need to just push through the depression. I came home and was going to read in Mosiah where I had left off, but I felt compelled to read about Charity in 1 Corinthians. After teaching the lesson a couple weeks ago, I remembered the corrolation between Love and Know. This idea sunk in as I reread the verse: 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
Translation: For now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face: now I love in part; but then shall I love even as also I am loved.
It's so easy to forget how to truly love someone, to forget how to love someone when they're being a jerk. But God loves us entirely, and someday, He will bless us to be able to love others even as He loves us now.
I have to remember that this is what I'm striving for. I have to remember that life isn't about what I weigh or how much money I have--it's about how much I love myself and others.