Monday, April 8, 2013

General Inventory... Anyone else exhausted thinking about all they have to do?

This is Minerva Teichert's painting of Queen Esther. I love it. This is a smart woman. This is the kind of woman I hope to become.

General Conference was wonderful.

There are talks I hear that I think--"This doesn't speak to me. What can I do to better understand and better receive these teachings?"

I have strong opinions based on my relationships and experiences. But, I am open and willing to change and learn based on the promptings of the Spirit. I am willing to be wrong. But I also trust in my own experiences.

There were some talks that pricked my conscience. Other talks motivated me to be better. Others provided a spiritual reset for me.

Three talks stood out to me the most. 1) Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talk about the importance of believing.
2) Elder David A. Bednar's talk about being chaste and 3) Elder Erich W. Kopischke's talk about Acceptance. I felt my spirit stir when I heard these talks. I loved the power of Elder L. Tom Perry's talk.

There's a lot to comment on. My brain is kind of mushy trying to think of specific that stood out.

Listening to General Conference is a personal thing. There are moments that I simply enjoy, there are moments where I feel encouraged, and there are moments where I feel repentant and I feel a desire to be better than I have been.

I spent the weekend just watching, listening, playing Angry Birds, cleaning, watching, listening, playing Angry Birds, and thinking about how I could be a better person.

It's like taking a spiritual inventory.

There's a lot of things I'd like to improve about myself, in relation to who I feel I can be right now. There is opportunity for growth.

Honestly, in this moment, I'm disappointed at the woman I've become. I had fantasies about who I would become as an adult and I wish I was that woman. Don't get me wrong, there are good things about me, I know. But in an effort to be honest, I often have moments where I wish I was the woman I imagined myself becoming as a child.

Taking inventory is a good thing though. I just need to take action now.

Every decision I make today contributes to my future self. I need to honor today more than I do.

Today, I am grateful for the things I can do today to become a better person. I would also be grateful for a nap right now. I'm tired. This becoming awesome is exhausting.

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