I'm a Bitch

(This post contains language unsuitable for anyone who doesn't like the word bitch.)

(Sorry. When you read it, pretend like I wrote b$#tch instead.)

When I was 16, I played Mrs. McGlone in The Unsinkable Molly Brown at the Stage Stop Theatre. Michael Bahr directed me. I was the mean lady who didn't like Molly Brown. After the show, the theatregoers would shake our hands as they left. One night, a little old lady came up to me and said, "You're a bitch!"

And thus, my career began.

I've played them all--and if I haven't--I look forward to playing that role soon enough.

From Goneril and Lady Macbeth, to Nurse Rached and Mrs.Lovett.

I have a type.

And that type--is a bitch.

Tonight, I'll be playing Mrs. Mullin.

She's a really nice lady.

Really.

Oh who am I kidding...

Today I'm grateful that tonight is opening night!!

Tech Week is over bitches!!

Now for the part I love--performing! We have performances tonight and tomorrow at 7:30pm and Monday night at 7:30pm.

The show is at the Murray Theatre on State Street. You can get your tickets online at utahrep.org

I promise I'm a nice person.

Really!