Sunday, October 11, 2009

Compromise

My friend Morgan and I were discussing how as women in the church, we dream in compromises.

We choose careers that fit conveniently with the goal of family. Her goal is to teach music out of her home and to perform in community theatre productions in her spare time. I currently have a great job teaching. This job affords me plenty of time to raise a family, should that opportunity come.

We are taught to shape our desires around our responsibilities--even if those responsibilities don't exist.

I was thinking about other things I compromise on--other desires that get compromised based on this goal to someday have a family.

Location. I cannot run off to some phd program in a small town somewhere because I will have no chance of dating good LDS guys. I cannot run off to Aruba to live on the beach, because living alone on the beach is boring. Same goes for building a big old house in the country.

I live in DC because I have a great job, but I also live here because there is a huge population of professional, post grad LDS singles here.

I feel myself compromising everything. I wonder if I actually like anything I like. I wonder what it is that I want and need. I am capable of being happy anywhere. I've learned that important skill. And so if a guy comes along who I love who says, "I love living in Alaska! Do you think you could live there?" I could probably say, "Yep! Count me in!" And I would be very happy, I'm sure. I'd be cold, but I could find a way to be happy.

But if it is was all up to me. . .

If there was no one else to please but me . . . And I had this amazing promise that at 33 I would meet an incredible guy and everything would work out wonderfully. . . regardless of where I chose to live today or what I chose to do . . .

I really need to explore that. Lists are forthcoming. What about you? If you weren't tied down to a location, a mortgage. If you had all the money in the world, and all the time in the world--how would you fill your day? Who would you listen to? What would you do with your spare time? (pretend like you have some in this dream world.)

3 comments:

Connie said...

Those are great questions. I'm going to have to think really hard on those but I'll let you know my answer when I figure it out. I look forward to hearing yours.

Sunshine said...

I would love to travel-- anywhere! Stay in exotic locations, meet knew people, try knew food, act, sing, dance, buy a great big house, and I might just do it with all my kids and husband too!

I would also plant a beautiful garden with beautiful flowers, and bushes and landscape something fierce! Oh... the dreams!

Hannah S said...

Those are good questions. I can't answer them w/o thinking for a bit. I've definitely compromised. I gave up my acting dream (in a bigger way than community theatre) bcse I got married. But I wanted marriage and children more than that. I miss it terribly and try to find ways to fit it in. I certainly need a creative outlet which is why I started my etsy shop. I believe there is a time and a season for everything, including marriage and kids.