I don't use this term lightly. Poo is serious stuff.
Especially when you find it in the elevator and have to scrub it up.
So how do I twist that into a gratitude post?
Not. gonna. happen.
In my need for authenticity, I refuse to make poo positive.
I will say this--when I discovered it, I was with a particularly relaxed guy who was totally cool with things. And I got it up fast. So, it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
It got me thinking about life and cleanliness. Being clean is a part of a healthy, well-balanced life. And right now, I'm a mess.
I need to get laundry done--and not in the sink. I need to do a thorough cleansing of the kitchen and vacuum the living room. I need cleanliness.
I'm going to clean tonight. Lots of cleaning. It doesn't cost me anything, and it makes me feel happier.
Yesterday, I went to church for the first time in ages. All right--in a month--but it felt like forever.
I don't like missing church.
It always seems like a good idea when the week is overfilled with obligations.
Going to church is a privilege--not an obligation. So on a week filled with things to do--having the extra three hours helps. Sort of.
I was happy to go to church yesterday.
The first meeting was where members of the congregation told their feelings about their faith. I always enjoy this meeting. It's filled with variety. A little of this, a little of that. I am always a little perturbed when I feel like people are modeling--showing off their spirituality for those who might potentially be interested--but it's whatever. There's always going to be something to bug.
The second meeting was a study of a gospel concept. Ironically, we studied the idea of keeping the Sabbath day holy.
Okay--one comment. I felt inspired to cut down on my social media time on Sunday. Not that I did--but I felt like it would be a good idea.
The third meeting was a lesson among the womenfolk. I played the hymns on a great little grand piano. During the lesson, the teacher and class discussed the analogy of the master artist (Christ) and the clay--(us). We talked about the elements that make the clay workable. The thought that kept coming into my mind was that regardless of the state of the clay--the clay can't add water to itself. The clay is at the mercy of the master. The analogy gives all power to the master. This both releases us from responsibility for the things we are to become and it releases us from power over what we are to become.
I feel more powerful than that.
I feel like my faith and my actions have something to do with what I become.
But perhaps I need to allow the Savior to do more.
I need more faith in what the Savior can do for me--despite my many weaknesses.
I had a conversation with a friend outside of the LDS faith who pointed out that people inside the church are too apologetic.
It struck me. Why?
I was just apologetic. What can I do to undo the apology and regain my confidence and my strength?
Why are people who dedicate themselves to a connection to God always apologizing?
I am clay. And I am in the Savior's hands.
I can allow myself to be shaped by the greatest creator of all.
It is okay to be where I am at and allow myself to move forward from this place.
I took this picture yesterday at church.
Mark and Melissa were sitting behind me, and I miss taking pictures of engaged couples. It's an easy story to capture. I don't pretend to be as good as some of my friends taking photos nowadays, though I have loved the engagement shots I've taken in the past.
This is just a candid shot of the two of them in their element.
Why do I feel so far away from this?
Why do I feel foolish even thinking about this kind of picture for myself?
What can I do to allow myself to hope for these things again?
Today I am grateful for things to think about and opportunities to grow.